Sweet Deception
by witch-mistress-animaru
Summary: SS Historical. Sakura, the illegitimate daughter of a rich merchant, agreed to replace her sister Tomoyo and marry Li Syaoran for power. He married her for money. She begins to fall for him, but his heart was never hers. Everything is not what it seems...
1. Full Summary and Characterization

Sweet Deception

Witch-Mistress-Animaru

A/N: Loosely based on Japan's history, inspired by a fic I read here somewhere, but it's only the basis and beginning that's the same. The plot differs, somehow. This first offering includes the full summary and the cast of characters. The next chapter uploaded the same time as this default chapter is the prologue timeline narration about Sakura Kinomoto's ascendancy. Note that the real Taira Antoku (Li Syaoran in the story) was but a child when he became emperor due to his grandfather Taira Kiyomori. The Tairas and Minamotos used to be allies, but somehow they ended up as rivals when the Tairas rose to power. The Minamotos caused a revolt and won, thus the start of the rule of Shogunate in Japan. This was supposed to be uploaded yesterday but the document uploading feature of FFnet seems busted. Dang.

Background Information

Notable names in Japanese history, Heian Era:

Fujiwara – Counterpart of Kinomoto in this fic (I'll explain later)

Taira – Counterpart of Li in this fic

Minamoto – Eriol's clan in this fic

Notable Dates:

11th Century AD / 1000's – End of Fujiwara rule in Japan's Royal courts.

1156 – Minamotos and Tairas settle a dispute by military force.

1159-60 – Tairas win a war, causing them to be leaders.

1180 – Taira Antoku is made emperor of Japan by Taira Kiyomori

1180-1185 – Gempei War (Started by the Minamotos' Revolt), the end of Taira rule and start of Kamakura Shogunate.

Disclaimer: There will be deviations from Japanese history, as I told you it is only a loose basis for the story. Some things might not fit the era, though I will try and minimize those things. The story is different from the one which inspired me. I'd like to acknowledge it: _Through a Looking Glass _by _Aisaki Sumi_. There will be lines from modern songs and such that I used as the basis of the chapter. Some characters, like Fujitaka, will be OOC. The word usage will be as ancient as I could make it sound. And lastly, CCS isn't mine. I'm having last-minute thoughts if I should change Eriol's character to Kurogane's, but I don't think I should. The characters are purely fictional.

Characterization

Kinomoto Fujitaka – a seemingly harmless yet mysterious rich man residing in Heian (Modern Kyoto), then-center of political power in Japan. He gained Taira Kiyomori's trust when he saved the life of the latter in the war back in 1159 and 1160. He was a young man back then. Now 43 years of age and married to Amamiya Sonomi, Fujitaka comes forward to reap his decades-overdue reward. His wish is that his _only_ daughter be married to Kiyomori's grandson and the next emperor of Japan, Li Syaoran. Unknown to anyone, he is the last surviving line of the disgraced Fujiwara clan, and this request is but a last desperate attempt to regain what his family lost a century ago.

Amamiya Sonomi and Amamiya Nadeshiko – the sister servants of the Kinomoto household, they come from a line of slaves-turned-servants from the Ainu tribe. Sonomi married her master, Kinomoto Fujitaka and bore his daughter Kinomoto Tomoyo. Nadeshiko is Sonomi's younger disgraced sister, who was raped by Minamoto soldiers in the 1159-1160 war. She bore a son a year later, Amamiya Touya, a boy destined to suffer his mother's neglect and indifference. After Tomoyo was born, Nadeshiko became Fujitaka's mistress. A year later Amamiya Sakura was born, destined to never be acknowledged by her father and be resented by her mother.

Amamiya Sakura – Neglected by her father and hated by her mother for being a girl, Sakura is considered more as a servant rather than a daughter of the Kinomoto household. She considers her half-sister Tomoyo her only friend and family since her brother ran away. When Tomoyo turned 18, and Sakura 16, Fujitaka announced his plans of marrying Tomoyo off. A few days after that, Sakura's sister ran away, leaving only a letter of request to her sister, asking a huge favor: For Sakura to marry Li Syaoran instead in her place. Early disillusionment and ambition hardened her resolve to do just as Tomoyo asked. Sakura refused to believe in love anymore; her parents never loved her, the opposite of that in fact, and love destroyed Tomoyo's chances of being the most powerful woman in all of Japan. Left with no choice, Fujitaka agrees to Sakura's suggestion to save face. Thus, Amamiya Sakura became Kinomoto Sakura, while the legitimate daughter of the house was disowned…

Kinomoto Tomoyo - An impulsive woman, acting upon her emotions and intuition rather than on logic, Tomoyo is the exact opposite of her sister. Whereas Sakura was cold, aloof and logical, Tomoyo is warm, friendly and emotional. Giving up her identity to follow her heart's yearnings, meek and obedient Tomoyo rebels and runs away to where her dearest was — the Minamoto Territory. For she has fallen in love with him at first glance: Minamoto Eriol stole her heart, there was no doubt about it. She dared to enter the Minamotos' servitude, changing her name to a common one — Daidouji Tomo…

Li Syaoran – Grandson of Taira Kiyomori and next emperor of Japan, Syaoran is Sakura's male counterpart — cold, aloof, domineering. They differ on one thing alone: Syaoran still believes in love, but he is more inclined to do his duty and marry the woman his grandfather chose for him. Besides, the one he loves is already tied to another —Meilin married Li Mamoru, his cousin, who was also considered to be emperor if he did not marry early. Setting aside his heart and choosing to be indifferent to the matter, Japan's next emperor has turned heartless…

Hiiragizawa Eriol – An orphan cared for by the Minamotos, Eriol is a samurai sworn to loyalty to the clan that nurtured him. A surrogate son of the head of the clan, his faith on the Minamotos is infallible. He tried, once, to negotiate with the Fujiwara's surviving son who refused to help them oust the Tairas. There he caught a glimpse of mesmerizing amethyst eyes — eyes that belong to a woman now married to the enemy. Driven by this belief, he continues to serve the Minamotos, hoping to one day claim Kinomoto Fujitaka's _only_ daughter as his, not knowing that the one he yearns for is just around him…

Amamiya Touya – Sakura's half-brother who ran away when he was 15 to search for his Minamoto father, Touya found solace in the Minamoto Territory. He now serves as a samurai for the clan, risking his life as a spy for the clan he considers as his family. All things he did are directed to save his sister from further destruction in the household he left. He has a promise to keep, and he will do anything to keep it. Only, he learns of a devastating truth — that his sister was now among those he has to kill…for Sakura married Li Syaoran, and that alone sealed her fate, unless Touya did something about it…

Li Meilin – A lady of the court hailing from Guan Dong province in China, Meilin arrived in Japan a few years ago. She felt a strong attraction towards Li Syaoran, but due to unfortunate circumstances, she was forced to marry his cousin Mamoru instead. When he married someone else, she felt like she died. She recently had a clash with the new Empress's servant, a man whose face she has yet to see.

A/N: See the next installment for the prologue (A mere narration) which I uploaded at the same time as this default chapter and please review if you can!


	2. Prologue: A Long Way From Yesterday

Sweet Deception

Witch-Mistress-Animaru

A/N: This is a fic with a historical backdrop, I repeat. This is the prologue of the story, a timeline narration of the history of the Kinomotos.

Prologue: A Long Way from Yesterday

1085, Imperial Palace, Heian

The Tairas and Minamotos have taken over the Palace. The Fujiwaras have been either imprisoned or killed. The servants have been subdued, and the samurais are scourging the place, some stripping the wealth off the luxurious place. Gold and precious jewels were pocketed and squandered mercilessly.

Unknown to them, a boy watched them from the shadows in terror. The boy is a Fujiwara, the only one remaining from the line of the family. Nine years of age, his existence has been hidden by the family for fear of disgrace. His father was the only one who cared for him, and yet, his father was murdered and did not survive the siege as well. Fujiwara Yamato was stabbed to dead before his very eyes by a man whose name he will learn later as Minamoto Takenori.

His abnormal appearance gained him the disgust and ridicule of his own family. His deformed features scared away his cousins. They will never know that the boy they condemned to a pitiful existence shall be the sole hope for the Fujiwaras. Fujiwara Takashi, the boy-monster, escaped the palace that fateful day and ran into Fujiwara supporters, the couple Kinomoto Minami and Aira. Minami is a Heian merchant well-known in the silk trade.

They did not condemn him because of his appearance. In fact, they treated the boy like the prince he was. They adopted him and presented him to everyone as their distant nephew whose family died on the war. The couple arranged a marriage between him and their daughter Mika ten years later to ensure the survival of the Fujiwara line, and power for the Kinomotos later on. For his safety, he used the surname Kinomoto from then on. A year after their marriage, Kinomoto Hisashi was born, luckily not inheriting his father's features. Mika committed suicide a few months after, unable to bear living with a monster she didn't love.

Eighteen years later, in 1115, Kinomoto Takashi died when his house was accidentally set aflame. His son Hisashi was away at the time, buying silk from traveling Chinese merchants, together with a couple of servants, Kawakuro Yuriko and her daughter Kimiko.

Kinomoto Hisashi started from scratch and joined the silk trade a year later. He married a Chinese merchant's daughter, Yun Mai Sen, who died giving birth to Kinomoto Kenshin in 1117. Hisashi died a drunkard five years later, leaving his son and business to newlywed servant Amamiya Kimiko and her husband who will die a few years later in an accident. The business was turned over to Kenshin when he turned sixteen in 1133.

Kenshin married a merchant's daughter like his mother in 1134. Kinomoto Miaka gave birth to Kinomoto Fujiko in 1135 and to Kinomoto Fujitaka in 1137. All throughout that, somehow, the family secret survived, the family business flourished. From one generation to another, hatred toward the samurais is implanted on the young Kinomotos.

In 1156, a dispute broke out between the allies Minamoto and Taira. Kenshin knew the time has come to act. When war broke out in 1159, Kinomoto Kenshin sided with no one and tried to kill as many Tairas and Minamotos as possible. Early in 1160, though, he and his wife died a violent death in the hands of Minamoto Ryu.

Kinomoto Fujiko was raped by one of the Taira soldiers when he escaped from Minamoto Ryu. Her brother found her by the streets in a near-dead state. They found out she was pregnant but she committed suicide four months later, killing the child within her as well.

All the servants have been killed, except for Amamiya Kumiko's grandchildren, sisters Sonomi and Nadeshiko, respectively seventeen and fifteen years of age. Sonomi lived on unscathed, but Nadeshiko was not so lucky. She gave birth to Amamiya Touya early on 1160, a bastard son of one of the Minamotos who raped her.

Kinomoto Fujitaka chose to take sides with the Tairas. He saved Taira Kiyomori from his parents' murderer, Minamoto Ryu and killed the latter.

As a reward, a huge chunk of the family fortune was restored and he has earned Kiyomori's trust for as long as the Tairas rule and a wish that the Taira head will grant if in his power.

He married Amamiya Sonomi that year and she gave birth to a girl, Kinomoto Tomoyo in 1961. Dismayed with having a girl for a first child, he turned to Amamiya Nadeshiko who secretly loved him and made her his mistress. He hired new servants to take their place and serve them as well. In 1163, Amamiya Sakura was born. Since then, Fujitaka never came to Nadeshiko again, causing the latter to resent her child because of her gender.

Touya ran away when he was fifteen, promising Sakura that he will come back and take her away with him. Four years have passed, nearing five, but he has not returned.

In 1179, Hiiragizawa Eriol found out about the existing line of Fujiwara and asked for the support of Fujitaka, which he refused to give. Tomoyo fell in love with the man at first sight, watching him from afar as he left, not knowing that he set his eyes on her as well.

Late in 1179, when Fujitaka asked Kiyomori to 'unite' their clans, the latter suggested that Fujitaka's daughter be married to his grandson. When Tomoyo learned of the news, she ran away, discarding the family name.

Left with no choice, Fujitaka decides to substitute Sakura as his 18-year old daughter in desperation, unexpectedly acknowledging her as Kinomoto Sakura, his daughter with his wife Sonomi. Sonomi cannot do anything but pray for the safety of her disowned daughter and be cruel to her niece and stepdaughter, Lady Kinomoto Sakura.

And this is where we begin.

Thus we begin our tale full of hatred, vengeance, deceit and ambition.

Thus begins a web of lies, a trap of anger, the danger of betrayal and pretense.

Yet as the story unfolds, we may find something good in the center of it all, hidden beneath all the evil things and misdeeds.

Just as when Pandora opened the 'gift' of the gods, she found hope,

May we find love blossoming in the darkness.

A/N: It all begins here!!! Please, please, if you liked it or hated it do tell me so I could do something about it early on…


	3. Chapter 1: Escape

Sweet Deception

Witch-Mistress-Animaru

A/N: I know it seems unfair for me to update this first, but to be honest I have so much fun writing this story. I don't know why, it's just how I feel. Don't worry, you'll find an update on the other stories soon, as well. Mwahaha. There's no sense making you wait! Here we go!

P.S. I'm sorry for those who got confused. Fujiko is Fujitaka's elder sister who got raped by soldiers and committed suicide a few months later. She is irrelevant, anyway. There is no way her child could have survived and be a part of the story as well, though that would have been a good idea. But matters are already complicated as it is.

And, well, sorry if the diction of this fic is a bit archaic.

1: Escape

_At one point, everyone wants to live as someone else._

"…_I wish that I could be in someone else's place, with someone else's name and someone else's face…" – Jon Bon Jovi, Someday I'll be Saturday Night_

Sakura sat stonily in front of the mirror. A girl was gently brushing her auburn locks while another applied white powder on her already pale face. Another girl tied a red silk sash around her waist, holding her pink floral kimono in place.

It was the day of the full moon. Spring had just begun; new life sprouted from the earth. Dew fell from the leaves of the trees outside, damping the grass beneath them. It was a day full of fresh hope, the dawn of something beautiful.

And it was also her wedding day.

Her hands clenched tightly at that thought.

She was going to be married to a man she did not know. And it was not even a simple matter at all — for the marriage will be a farce. Kinomoto Sakura never existed, anyway, until this day. There will be no blessings from heaven for Amamiya Sakura, on the day she will be wed on the identity she never had until then.

She was going to be married all because of her father's ambition to regain what they lost. She was going to suffer because her sister, Tomoyo, chose to do the cowardly thing and ran away. Did she have a choice? No, for it was decided the moment Tomoyo's flight was discovered. What did it matter that Kinomoto Sakura was not even a legal person? What did it matter that she was really illegitimate? No, nothing else mattered, except for the fact that she has Fujiwara blood flowing in her veins.

Of course she knew their little secret. Of course she knew. How could she not? Her father kept on talking about it every time he came to call on her mother. He always mentioned that story with burning hate. Not that she felt the same.

How could she feel the same, when her hatred is directed towards that man? Yes, he came to call on them, but only to remind them of his favors, and that someday, they must repay him for his kindness. How dared he say that when he is not even saintly? Is it not true that her mother is the mistress of her aunt's husband? Where is the morality of the man, to do that to the sisters? How dared he say that, when he is the reason for her mother's misery?

Ah, her mother. Her martyr for a mother, who still blindly pines after that monster of a man, and has no eyes for her children…no wonder her brother chose to run away. No wonder her _oniichan_ chose to look for another place to belong to.

She has no love for her so-called mother and father. In fact, she does not believe in love anymore. How could she, when all she saw that love brought was misery, anger and hatred?

So she has decided to agree on the arrangement. It was simple enough. There are no so-called emotions to get in the way. And she plans to use it to her advantage. Since she was given the chance, why not be the opportunist and take what was offered? She has greater plans for herself, dreams she intends to come true.

She will be the most powerful woman who will walk _Nippon._

The question is, is she up to it?

A sigh escaped her lips, thinking of the long and winding road ahead of her.

"Why the long face, Sakura-_sama?_" The girl brushing her hair asked gently. Yanagisawa Naoko, her personal maidservant, was the only one who dared talk to her like a dear friend. She was the only one Sakura trusted in her father's array of servants. Naoko was the only one who seemed to understand. Thus, she was the only one Sakura had the intention of bringing in the Taira household.

"_Nandewanai wa,_ Naoko-san." She opened the drawer in front of her, revealing her personal possessions. Folded neatly on top of the trinkets inside was a patch of papyrus. Her sister's neat handwriting was visible in the thinness of the material. She picked it up absently and unfolded it. She didn't really need to; the words there and what they meant were etched in her mind and heart.

_Sakura-chan,_

_I hope that by the time you finish reading this letter, you will find in your heart to forgive me. What I have done is unforgivably selfish, and should you feel hatred towards me, I shall be prepared for it. My dearest sister, I know I owe you so much to begin with, being the favored daughter that I am. Though I did not ask for it, I know that you silently suffer because of things being the way they were. And here I am, still, giving you yet another burden to carry for me. One day, when you fall in love (Do not scoff, for you may someday meet someone who will sweep you off your feet!), you shall understand. And one day, I hope I can repay you._

_I have run away, Sakura. By the time you have read this, I shall be away, in a far-off place from Heian. I chose to follow the one I love, Sakura. Though I am not sure he knows I exist, I wish to be with him. You might laugh, but it is true. I loved him the first time I laid my eyes on him. He came to call on father a few days ago. He was asking father for something, something father seemed unprepared to give. His blue eyes reached my very soul and I felt his very pain and dismay. Father refused to yield and he left quite downhearted. Then yesterday, I learned that he was a rebel against the government, attempting to gain father's support. And the worst thing of all was that father is siding with the government. He was forcing me to marry the next emperor of Japan. That I could not take, especially when I have met HIM, at last!_

_So here I am, fleeing for my freedom. If I stayed and fought father's wishes, he would coerce me to do what he said. And I would not have the strength to disagree. I apologize to you, for I know what my departure means for you._

_If you do not wish to do as he wills, run away, Sakura. I won't have you bearing my responsibility, sacrificing what you have for something you will gain nothing from. I know you can do something about it, Sakura. You were always the stronger among us two._

_Regarding my whereabouts, I will not be telling you, so you need not lie to Father. I end this rather long letter here. I do hope you understand my reasons, however baka they are._

_Love from your Tomoyo-neechan_

_Foolish as ever, Tomoyo-neechan,_ she thought, returning the letter gently to where it had laid.

Contrary to what Tomoyo had said, she refused to leave the household. She wanted to take her sister's place for once. She wanted the power, but most of all she wanted what it meant for her — freedom. Freedom from the prying eyes of her _family._ The only thing that was angering her was the manipulation. Tomoyo had used her for her own ends, and that was what she could not take.

Love was never a part of it. She just hated the idea of all that was to happen next being thanks to her sister.

But as the situation has arisen, she has no choice but use it to her full advantage. She will not let her heart hinder her from achieving her goals. As fate had had it, Amamiya Sakura was no more. Taira no Li Sakura she will be: strong, determined, wily.

"I do hope you'll remember this household still when you are up there, Sakura," Amamiya Nadeshiko's voice, cold and distant, called from the doorway, cutting her thoughts. "And remember who you were once, not so long ago."

Sakura gazed passively at her estranged mother's reflection on the mirror. She looked younger than her thirty-four years. Her eyes remained passive and elusive, hiding what she believed as an empty soul. A bitter smile formed on her lips as she answered.

"How will I ever forget, _Nadeshiko-san_?" As she expected, her mother was outraged by her blatant disrespect.

"Nani? What did you call me? Whatever do you mean by such insolence?"

"I meant no disrespect," she said with calm nonchalance, feigning innocence. "I only practiced a bit. In the eyes of the world, I am _Sonomi-san's_, I mean _Mother's,_ daughter. It wasn't really hard, was it? Only you have to hide your outrage, _okaa-sama._"

Nadeshiko gazed thoughtfully at her. Something akin to pain crossed her eyes before she turned away.

"I see. I hope what you say is true, and that you have not been devoured by your ambitions." She paused before closing the door. "Be careful, lest you wish for a violent end for your life."

"_Arigatou Gozaimasu_ for the reminder," _But I won't break, at least not before I have achieved my ends._

_I have found freedom anew_

_Nothing shall stand in my way_

_I may live tomorrow in several untruths_

_But by then, I will be making my own truths_

_What I want to believe in will be what is true_

_What I hide shall remain hidden,_

_Destined to never be found_

_I will not waiver, nor will I fall_

_Wary not to slip in my lies_

_Surely if I stick with them long enough_

_They shall become reality_

_The foundation of my new life_

**Imperial Palace, _Heian_**

Syaoran was still in his silk robe.

He knew, of course, that he should be preparing for his wedding, but he was in no hurry to go through that farce of a ceremony.

His gaze fell outside, by the palace's grounds. The vast wilderness and greenery stretched far and wide. The dirt road by the center of it all stood out, lined with flowers and tall grass. The two identical fountains gleamed under the sun, momentarily blinding him. He was still not used to such huge living surroundings. He spent all his youth in Guan Dong with his family, until his grandfather called on him.

He sighed. He does not want to be emperor, but he could not let his grandfather down. It was his duty as the firstborn male, after all. He shook his head, clearing his thoughts. He was about to look away when he heard children's laughter.

He froze at the sight that greeted him. It was his cousin Li Mamoru, with his wife and two young children.

Mamoru was a few months younger than he, the reason why there was bitter rivalry between them. Mamoru sure wanted the post of emperor, but he cannot demand it from their grandfather.

But Mamoru used his cunning and cleverness as retribution against Syaoran.

He glanced painfully at the woman beside Mamoru: Li Meilin.

The woman who caught his untamed heart. The woman who could smile away his sorrows and drown him in her simplicity.

But she belongs to his cousin now. Mamoru seduced her to marrying him, despite the fact that Meilin was more attracted to Syaoran. Afraid of disgrace, Meilin had no choice but marry him.

It was funny, the way things were. He wanted nothing but a peaceful life with her. His cousin wanted nothing but the position being offered to him. He would have gladly traded places, but that would have meant disobeying his grandfather and disappointing his family.

Great leaders are not led by the heart, but by the mind.

He looked away from the family scene, ignoring Meilin's hopeful glance his way, or Mamoru's smirk while looking at him.

_She's yours now. You have won, but make sure you take care of her, or else._

His hand grabbed the sword beside his bed automatically. He raised it, slid it over his fingers, practicing his Kung-Fu.

"Sugoi desu, Xiao Lang-sama," a voice said by the doorway, causing him to start. He ended up nearly cutting his finger.

"Wei-san," he said. "You surprised me."

"You weren't concentrating as hard as usual, Xiao Lang." Wei commented, abandoning the respectful suffix to his name. "That is why you did not feel my presence. Is something bothering you? Is it about the wedding?" Wei was his trainer back in Guan Dong, and a surrogate father to him. He was the only one Syaoran trusted enough to bring in the palace.

"Yes. And no."

"I did not get what you mean, Xiao Lang-sama."

"You did not have to. What is it?"

"Kiyomori-sama said you should be prepared by now."

"_Wakarimasta._ I shall be doing that now."

"Xiao Lang…" Wei gazed at him. "Are you sure about this?"

"It is my duty, Wei. Do not worry yourself about such trivial things."

"Is this wedding trivial, in your opinion?"

"It is."

"If you say so, then I shall not say a word more." Wei bowed and left his room.

He took his time dressing up. He chose a dark azure kimono, geta sandals and the ceremonial katana beside it. He brushed his messy hair with an irate hand, his eyes glinting coldly as he thought of what was to transpire.

_Your wife-to-be is very beautiful, Xiao Lang. I saw a picture of her, brought by Fujitaka-san. Her eyes are deepest green, none I've ever seen before…_

His grandfather's words returned to him. Absently, he opened a drawer where a jewelry box was kept. It was filled with jewelry belonging to his clan way back to the 8th Century.

_Green…_

His eyes flew to a fine gold necklace with a teardrop-shaped jade as a pendant.

_This will do as a betrothal gift, _he thought grimly, _this should do for someone not coming from a royal line…_

"I'm ready now."

_Imprisoned me, freeing my heart from her memory_

_Letting her go now, as she did for me_

_I shall walk the path leading to my despair_

_A shrewd decision, a union of no gentle bearing_

_Still, though we can never be together_

_Though she and I belong to someone else_

_I know that my heart will always be hers_

_No amount of superficial beauty, or lure of power_

_Will take away what I feel for her_

_I may let someone else wrap her arms around me_

_Yet my heart continually longs for her_

_A ring will imprison my whole self_

_Save for my heart, which will be hers_

_Eternally_

"As ready as I ever will be."

A/N: This is one long chapter! I told you I love writing this story. I wonder why. Oh well, I'll see you in "2: Prison."

Free-verse poems found in 1: Escape are _Lies _and _Yours Forever_.


	4. Chapter 2: Prison

Sweet Deception

Witch-Mistress-Animaru

A/N: Whew…this is the last one before I sleep out. I wish I could make it before 10:30 because I have class tomorrow…talk about CWTS…it's field work time!

Okay, here's the next installment of Sweet Deception. Sorry for the followers of my other fics. I don't have the time to think out the plots of any story, this one has a backup chapter so I only have to type it. Forgive any typos should there be many as this is a rush type. Don't have time to check if I typed it out right or not.

Okay time's up, it's 10:30, I'll continue this tomorrow.

(A/N finished May 1, 2007, Philippine zone)

2: Prison

"_I believe the grass is no more greener on the other side…_

_I believe you don't know what you've got until you say goodbye."_

_-Affirmation, Savage Garden_

"_She's so lucky, she's a star, but she cry, cry, cries in her lonely heart, thinking,_

'_If there's nothing missing in my life then why do these tears come at night?'"_

_- Lucky, Britney Spears_

Sakura felt as though dawn would never come, but it did.

She has been awake for a few hours. She was unable to sleep soundly as she thought she would. Instead, she had lain there, restless, thinking of this day, this day when she would probably have to face her stranger husband.

She rose from her bed draped with lace and silk linings. The room she was given was by far the grandest she had seen. Their home back in the Kinomoto household paled in comparison to the spacious paradise she was in.

An assortment of kimonos and foreign-styled dresses hung on her wardrobe. A variety of perfume oils, powder and lip colors were fixed before the mirror of her cabinet.

She turned to the huge window where sunlight streamed from, blinding her momentarily. The Palace grounds stretched out for miles that it was the only thing she could see.

She thought of the previous day with a strange emptiness in her heart. The celebration lasted all day long. Yet she did not feel like joining in. Neither was her husband, apparently, who seemed to be more reluctant than she was of the arrangement. His family and their well-wishers seemed to have been oblivious of their discomfort and petulance.

More awkward was the moment they were left alone. Being perfect strangers, it took them a long time to converse.

She could remember their verbal exchange very much so. Few words have passed between them, but those words served as the foundation of their — as he called it — partnership.

"_I only have a thing or two to say to you, my wife," He stressed the last two words, hinting possession and distaste. He caught her attention that easily, since she hated the way it sounded, coming from his lips. It sent pinpricks to her chest, making her feel a pain she chose to ignore. Instead of backing down, she gazed up at him, challenging him to say more. Nobody had the right to make her feel like an excess baggage. Not even her father would have gotten away with that._

"_Pray do tell me," she said in a clear voice, avoiding the use of subservient terms such as '-Sama' or 'emperor.' If he noticed or not, he did not say anything, nor did he impose such terms on her, which made her glad silently on one part, yet disappointed on the other. That was a battlefield he chose not to tread on._

"_I wish for us to come upon an understanding. There should be no doubts or hesitancy between us."_

_She was not surprised at all on where their 'conversation' was leading._

"_Wakarimasta. Say your piece."_

"_I will not beat around the bush. Consider this arrangement an extremely important trade deal. We both gain something here — or at least, our families do. That is, power for your family, and the finances you have for us." He paused. "Anything and everything that you need, only say the word and it will be taken care of. In exchange, you should provide me with an heir or two."_

_She nearly lost her composure and cold demeanor then, but managed to cling to coolness with her fists._

"_I happen to be aware of that," she said. "S-should I?" She added, unsure of what she was really asking about._

"_No," he answered a little too quickly. She was not sure if he really was on the verge of smiling or if she just imagined it. "For the meantime, we sleep on separate quarters and get used to the idea. But it will really come, I am afraid to say."_

"_I am prepared for that. Is there anything else?"_

"_Are you really?" He said, but before she could retort, he already went on. "There is nothing else…matte. I wish no bitterness between us should I take a second wife, or a mistress perhaps." Pain crossed her eyes then, remembering what her father had done to her mother. It is difficult for her to set aside her past, but she must do it._

"_I can take a second wife, but not a mistress." She blurted out, not looking at him. "Please do not ask me why, as well."_

"_I see. I suggest you harden your heart more; you are being quite vulnerable now. I cannot promise you anything beyond satisfying your material needs."_

_She smiled caustically at his words._

"_Will that be all?"_

"_Yes."_

"_Then you will kindly leave." She said, staring pointedly at the door._

_It won't be hard not to fall for him, she thought. He is arrogant and proud. He may possess godly looks, but she has never been a shallow person who judges other people by the way they look. As long as he remained cold and distant, the way he was just now, she would have no problem hating him._

That was what she thought. Yet now, as she reminisced on their little conversation and considered the situation, she thought that things might change for the better, and that was what she should avoid.

She wanted to laugh bitterly at that idea. She must bear all things if she wished to succeed.

_Why can't I just be happy?_ She wanted to ask Kami-sama.

She felt bitterness eating up her soul. Her thoughts strayed to her estranged mother, thinking of how love, the only thing she wanted in the world, destroyed her. Was she to suffer as well for her ambition?

_I am better off than they now. I shall have the chance for power. A power that the Fujiwara clan have lost a century ago, a power that Otousama shall never have in his hands…a power, that if I use well, will bring me all happiness and prosperity I could want._

Yet, despite that thought meant to cheer her up, emptiness ate up everything inside her. It gnawed and chewed and clawed, until all that's left of her was an empty shell.

She shook the feeling out, shutting out all emotions, benumbing herself. Stretching, she pulled the string beside her to call Naoko upstairs.

_What a long day this will be, and it has only just begun._

_Clouds have covered my dear sky_

_Obscuring my vision, losing the light_

_My heart is scared_

_What if I never saw the light again?_

_I hope it will_

_Like spring to winter_

_A thought, a wish, whatever will work_

_And pray that it will come true_

_To take away the darkness_

_And spray some life into me_

_Into my empty shell existence_

_As I go by my day full of strife_

_This I pray to God_

_Now, how I wish I could turn back the hands of time_

_For better was the day before today_

_Where my true life had lain_

---

**He was staring, yet again, at the vast wilderness surrounding him, lost in his thoughts.**

For the first time in a long time, his thoughts strayed not to his beloved Meiling, but the woman he only knew by name and face — the woman he calls wife.

She was not plain, definitely, but her beauty was to be questioned. He only had an inkling of how she looked like — the few times he saw her closely, her face was covered with powder, obscuring her features. Her eyes always remained freezing and expressionless, like some variety of stone-cold gems.

But he was certain she would pale in comparison to Meiling, the jewel of Guan Dong province.

On top of that, Li Sakura remained a mystery, even to him.

"Xiao Lang!" He froze, his heart skipping a beat before lurching. He turned, thinking it was but a figment of his imagination, fueled by the ardent longing of his heart.

Yet he was not mistaken. It was Li Meiling — the woman who kept him alive yet slowly took his life from him each day.

Sadly, she was not alone. She had her elder son with her, a charming boy of three.

"Meiling-san," he said in a choked voice. His lips have dried, and he feared they might crack any moment, with the empty, forced smile on his lips. "I did not notice you," and that was the truth. He was too absorbed on his own thoughts that he did not see her, the cause of his desire and despair.

"You are with Hadoru-kun, I see." He added when she did not speak, referring to her son.

Meiling's smile was strained, he noticed.

"We were unable to attend your wedding, gomenasai."

"Daijobu desu. I know for certain how busy you are, what with two children to take care of."

"Hai, it really is tiring. Demo there are times, there are those times that you have fun as well. To be honest, I enjoy my time with Hadoru and Kai Cha." Meiling paused, her eyes boring on his face. If only she would stare at him long enough, he would have died for he had forgotten how to breathe. "H-how many do you plan to have?"

"Eh? Oh…Wakaranai. We have not exactly discussed…" His voice vanished to nothingness when he saw that she was on the verge of tears. "Daijobu desu ka, Meiling?" He forgot the respective suffix and clamped his hands on her shoulders.

"Gomen ne, demo…I-I can't help it…you do not deserve this kind of life. Neither do I…But it is too late, I know. I can only hope the best for you and your wife."

"Meiling, I —" What was there to say? 'Let's run away together' will not do, lest he wished to fail his clan…What should he tell her?

"My, my, what a touching scene we are having here." His hand automatically released Meiling when he heard his cousin's voice.

"Mamoru!"

Meiling turned away from him. He saw the fear in her eyes, and he felt like slicing his cousin with his katana for inflicting her with such fright.

"I would hate to break up such a lovely scene, dear cousin, but if you are forgetting, this is my wife here. So…if you don't mind…" His voice was irritated while he manhandled his wife. His hand clamped like vises on her arm and pulled her bodily.

"Damn it, don't hurt her, Mamoru!"

"Don't tell me what and what not to do, Xiao Lang!"

"You are being obtuse about this — Mamoru!" Syaoran was alarmed by his cousin's violence, and at the same time, angered.

"You shut up and mind your own business!"

"Mamoru…Mamoru!"

"You are married now, Xiao Lang. Leave my wife alone, you hear? Go fornicate with your own!" His eyes widened in shock from Mamoru's coarse language.

(A/N: the word 'fornicate' is the same as the forbidden "F" word. Its usage, actually, pertains to unmarried couples practicing sex. I violated that usage here, practically because other terms we use today are probably still unthought-of way back. At least, the word I used is definitely within the time frame.)

He was unable to retort, what with shock and anger melding in his veins. Mamoru stalked off, his wife and son in tow.

_Daisuki dayo, I love you more than anyone else_

_But you are not mine to begin with_

_Even if I refuse to feel_

_The truth is, I cannot let go of you still_

_My mind wanders around the past_

_It cannot help but think_

_How on Earth did he coerce you to be with him?_

_Was it love, crazy, crazy love?_

_Or was it something else, something nasty?_

_Yet I know it's pointless_

_For everything was said and done for_

_Everything I wished and hoped for could never come true_

_Everything is water under the bridge now_

_The milk was spilled; I could not get it back_

_I know you will never be mine anymore_

_So how do I let go?_

_I said my goodbyes_

_But you remain_

_A part of me_

"Meiling…" that single name, a word uttered so sweetly by his lips, came out as a desperate sigh. He stood there in trance, waiting for sanity to return, for the pain to disappear.

With a heavy heart, he made his way back to the palace, feeling empty again.

---

**Sakura stared outside the window, her thoughts straying to the life she used to live.** She thought, back when she was leaving it, that she would never miss it, pathetic existence as it was. Yet now, she found herself longing to see her Tomoyo-oneechan. Even her runaway, long-lost brother.

_I'll come back someday, I promise. I'm going to take you away from them. Just stay here, be good and wait until that day comes, okay?_

Those were his words of farewell to her.

"Oniichan…"

Hundreds of miles away, a twenty-year old man stood by the trees with another man. He bore the Minamoto crest on his ninja suit, while the man talking to him wore a yukata. (A/N: If I'm not mistaken, that's what you call it, right? It exists, actually Kurogane's clothes in TRC.)

"Yue-sama, I cannot express my gratitude to you for sparing my life."

"You are as naïve as ever, Touya. I thought I made clear my reasons for letting you live."

"That I would make a good spy at Heian-kyo? I absolutely doubt that. A runaway slave has little reason to return. I think that this is a good deed you have just done."

"If you wish to believe such nonsense, I shall not bother to correct you. I only need remind you that you owe your life to us."

"There really is no need. I have no real loyalty to the Taira clan; as for the Fujiwara… I am not a son of the clan, as I have said. My sister, though, is an illegitimate daughter of the clan. But you need not worry about her. She hates her father as I do."

"I see. Will she side with us?"

"Probably, if circumstances have not changed from what I remember."

"Then well and good."

"I promised her I would come back and take her with me. I agree to do this for the two of us."

"Whatever you say. We tried to get his support, as you know. But events have taken a downturn recently. Fujitaka's daughter has wed the grandson of Kiyomori. Can you not do anything about Kinomoto Sakura?"

Touya's eyes narrowed. Did he hear Yue right? _Kinomoto Sakura? But she was illegitimate!_

"What…are you saying?"

"Kinomoto Sakura married Li Xiao Lang. If you do not understand still, you must be really dense to not recognize your cousin."

"I-I see…" _Damn you, Fujiwara! Why my sister? Why use her as your pawn? Where is your daughter Tomoyo?_

"Can you convince her, then?"

"I…I can try."

"Good. You might as well start now. Are you prepared?"

"I am. Sayonara, Yue-sama. I shall come back with useful information, and if I'm lucky, with my sister and …and my cousin."

_What the hell happened? What went wrong? Why did she marry that Li brat? Where…where did Tomoyo go?_

_Confused, forced upon a fate I could have refused_

_Death would have been the easy way out_

_But I promised you, 'I'd come back'_

_So here I am, fulfilling what I said_

_Just stay there and wait, I will be there_

_Soon enough to clear my doubts_

He knew he was placed in a delicate position. He also knew he must take her away from the center of it all, at once.

_Or she might die…in his hands…_

A/N: I'm done! See you in next chapter, 'Cage of Emotions.' And my other fics as well.


	5. Chapter 3: Cage of Emotions

Sweet Deception

Witch-Mistress-Animaru

A/N: I disappoint myself again. I am currently writing another chapter for Finding Love, and I'm no near finishing it yet. I also have written another fanfic that I'm not sure I should be uploading, but I'll tell you the plot. It's about a journalist reporter. The story about that one is based on my firsthand experience recently while covering a rally. Ha-ha. I'm only a student still, though, and I have loads to learn about media.

Anyway, while I write the chapters of my other fics, this one I have to type out. Sorry for being such a…I dunno. But I swear by the end of the week at least one of my fics will be updated. Finding Love most probably. Those watching out Fated and Beloved Enemy, I cannot promise you the re-uploads as I could, but I swear I'll do my best. It's tough, since I have CWTS to worry about…but I'll try my best, really.

3: Cage of Emotions

_Blood is thicker than water._

_- Old Proverb_

_Say hello, say goodbye to the things that you pass as you go by. For life goes on; life goes on and never waits… the world won't stop spinning when you die._

"_Life goes on, and it's only gonna make me strong;_

_It's a fact, once you get onboard say goodbye coz you can't go back…"_

_-Life Goes On, Leanne Rimes_

Tomoyo sighed as Yue and Touya's conversation ended. She was not even aware of holding her breath. She had never been as nervous before.

She almost got caught, she knew. She did not expect her cousin to be here. How could she have known that after running away, he found solace in this place, as she had now? Yet she knew it was inevitable that he will find out the truth — Sakura married the next emperor, and nothing she said or did changed that. But she was not foolish. Her death would make things easier for her father. He would not like it if he learned that she chose the Minamotos over the Tairas. He would probably like her dead than give her to the rebel clan.

_Better now than later,_ she thought. She took a deep breath before revealing herself to the silver-haired man.

"Ohayou Gozaimasu," she greeted. Yue turned around warily, his hand clamping on his katana. She paled, hoping he will not succumb to baser instincts and kill her.

"Who are you?" Yue's eyes narrowed, torn between distrust and pity for the girl who appeared all of a sudden. Her dress though obviously once a grand one (Was it a hand-me-down?) was now patched and frayed. She was trembling from head to foot, and a surge of pity overwhelmed him. He did not let his guard down still. It could all be a trickery of the enemy.

"I asked who you are!" He exclaimed, his patience waning.

Startled, she nearly told him his real name and died because of it.

"K-kino…I mean…Daidouji Kinoa." She stammered, hoping he didn't notice the slip.

"Kinoa? What kind of name is that? That is not Japanese, ne?"

"I…I don't know…I…ran away from my masters…"

"A runaway slave, eh?" _She most certainly looks like it,_ he thought with distaste.

"Onegai…let me stay here, sensei…"

"Why should I let you? You have been spying on us, do you dare deny it? Spies do not deserve to live!"

"But I am no spy, sensei! Please…let me stay here…I have nowhere else to go…"

"Kinoa, is it?" Yue frowned. "Where do you come from?"

"H-heian-kyo…" Yue stared a long time at 'Kinoa,' whose unusual amethyst eyes seem to plead. His heart failed, yet again, to be harsh and cruel and cold.

He sighed, defeated, beckoning her to follow him.

---

Sakura was frustrated with her idleness. She was never one to sit out the whole day, yet here she was, trying her best to get absorbed in her thoughts. Once she did so, though, she will end up depressed, feeling her strength withering away. Oh, dear, was she such a fickle one?

She thought of what to do for the rest of the afternoon. She still had no plans of leaving the castle, though time will come when she will.

That was when she heard a soft rustle behind her, right at the window. She turned, horrified, to see a masked man dressed in ninja suit. His shirt wore the Minamoto crest, while his coal black eyes were barely visible from his face mask.

He was an enemy of her newfound clan.

She almost screamed, but she knew it would not have helped. Dear Kami-sama, she was scared, but she had to face this man.

"Who are you?" She asked, backing away and silently approaching the bell pull beside her bed, ready to call for help. She feared they will be too late. His hand was clamped on his katana, and she knew that if he wished, he could kill her in seconds.

Before she could pull the rope, though, he removed his mask, revealing the face of her only family — her brother.

"Oniichan!" She gasped, her eyes widening. _How…could it be?_ She wanted to come closer, but her feet did not move.

"It really is you, Sakura." He said, and she felt a shiver run down her spine at the formality of his words.

"W-who did you expect?"

"Where is our cousin? She is in imminent danger, you know, as are you. We need to get out of here."

"Whatever do you mean? And why…" her voice dropped to an anguished whisper, "Why are you wearing a rebel's clothes?"

"Come with me, squirt," for once, Sakura felt security again as his voice softened, sounding like what it did years ago. "Let us join the Minamotos to topple this empire of tyranny."

"I-I…oniichan…"

"Doushite tano?" He asked, frowning at the worry on her face. "Don't you wish to go against _him_? Don't you wish to get away from his shadow?"

She knew who he was referring to, but she cannot do as he wished. She was scared.

"I…I cannot come with you," she said, trying and failing not to tremble. "Not when I have gone so far in." The rest of her words surprised even she, how shrewd they sounded.

Touya gazed at her with wonderment on his face, incredulous. "Since when have you become a brat, my sister? Don't be stupid! I…I may be a bit late, but I came back…Sakura, please!" There was a pleading quality in his voice, causing her heart to ache.

"Alas, much has happened since you left, oniichan…Agreed that I do not wish to leave my post, but I never said anything about siding with _them_."

"What do you mean?" He asked, his eyes narrowing.

"I mean I am in such a strategic position here, able to pass useful information to you."

Touya's eyes widened from what she was trying to insinuate.

"You…you don't know what you are saying, squirt," he said gruffly, looking away. She saw her brother's hidden tears, and she so badly wanted to take his offer and run away. Yet something was holding her back. What it was, she had no idea. "I don't want you involved here. I just want you safe, where I could take care of you. How could I do it here, where so many of my enemies surround you? Spies die the most gruesome of deaths…"

Tears filled her eyes, her emotional barrier crumbling little by little.

"I want to do this, oniichan. For all my life, I have not been given respect, much less importance…If it is my life I have to pay with to earn that, then so be it."

"You will not be around to enjoy the fame, Sakura!"

"I…I truly want to take your offer…but all hell will break loose if you take me away now. You do know that, don't you? I'm scared…for you, for us…"

"Damn Fujiwara to hell! Damn him for making you a pawn in his game!"

"Oniichan…" She wanted to touch him, but she was afraid he will disappear. "Can't you see it's too late? We cannot do anything about it…"

"We'll find something! I can't let him use you any longer!"

"If you get caught…I cannot chance that. Why not work here instead and turn your back on them?"

"I cannot. My loyalty is with the Minamotos."

"I keep on forgetting that a Minamoto fathered you."

"My ascendancy has nothing to do with it! They were the ones who —" He froze, his eyes widening. "Someone's coming!" He dived to the window, the leaves of the trees rustling as he hid himself from view.

Sakura barely had time to compose herself when Syaoran entered her room, a frown marring his handsome face.

"Were you talking with someone?" Sakura's heart skipped a beat; not because she was scared, but perhaps because her husband looked magnificent in his robes of rich green silk. She looked away quickly, her heart hammering against her chest. The air was suddenly thick with her tension, and she found it hard to breathe. His voice, full and masculine, made her senses go haywire. His scent invaded her nostrils. He smelled of the wind outside, fresh and warming.

A flood of indecent thoughts invaded her head, causing her to blush. Goosebumps crept up her neck.

_Yamero, Sakura! Stop such…such…ah! Just stop!_

---

Syaoran gazed at his wife wonderingly. He was walking outside her room when he resolutely heard a man's voice from it. Yet there was no one here.

His eyes flew to her rather flushed face, and felt all breath escape him. It was the first time he saw her without that irritating white powder on her face, and she looked younger than her nineteen years and much more enticing without that blasted concoction to mar her features. Her cheeks were rosy from basking under the afternoon sun. Her hair shone a fiery red under the glow of the dusk. The green of her eyes were alive, like some wood fire, but he noted the hidden tears trying not to fall. Her lips were cherry red, lush and moist, as if waiting to be kissed…

He nearly groaned when he felt his erection. He was no innocent, having lost his virginity at age fifteen. There was no question about it — he desired his wife. Or mayhap it is because he has been abstaining for so long that he felt such lust pierce through his being.

_Damnation to hell! You're being hentai, Li Xiao Lang! She'll throw you out once she learns of what goes on in your perverse little mind!_

Contrarily, she did not seem to notice his discomfort. He shook the rather naughty thoughts out of his head, feeling like a foolish little boy.

"Are you okay?"

---

Sakura felt his burning gaze rather than saw it. She had her head bowed down, feeling guilt mounting over her pride. She avoided his open stare as she answered.

"Of course I am. Why ever will I not be?" Her words were sharper than she intended, but it was as well. She had to be overly sensitive to people's snide remarks to protect her pride.

"There is no need for such tone," he said bitingly. "I was merely wondering. Not that I care what you are doing, but you could be hallucinating, for all I know."

"I feel perfectly fine," she snapped. She thought she heard amusement in his tone, but when she looked up his face, she only saw his eyes boring on hers.

"Not that I really care," he shrugged it off and she felt like an idiot for believing that he _did_ care. "I just thought there was someone here with you."

"Perhaps you're the one hallucinating. There is no one else here."

"I did hear some voices."

"I suggest you go down the kitchens and have a sumptuous lunch." She quirked her lips sarcastically, eyeing him with challenge in her eyes. "I think you need to eat."

---

Syaoran almost, almost smiled. She could be interesting if she wished, and her wit and humor was refreshing. Somehow she looked more at ease now. The flush was gone from her cheeks, yet instinct told him that she was still unnerved by him.

Before he could think of his actions, his body moved towards her. To his immense satisfaction, she took a step away from him. Yet she moved a second too late — she was trapped in his arms, and it somehow felt right to him.

She wasn't the only one affected. He knew it was a wrong move the moment his hands touched her soft, smooth skin that he suddenly did not want to let go. Turmoil of emotions and hormones raged inside him, and a thousand nasty thoughts sprang in his mind.

What he wouldn't give to spend time with her inside a locked room…

"Nani?" Her voice brought him back to sanity, and he let go of her suddenly, as though burned.

_Bakero!_

"G-gomen…" He stammered before dashing out of her room.

---

Sakura slumped against the wall she was entrapped against earlier, feeling her heart thumping fast and her knees giving way to weakness. The air was still full of tension — tension she never felt before, tension so thick she could almost taste it.

She knew it could happen. She knew it would happen. Yet her foolish heart underestimated such emotion, for nothing could have ever prepared her to such assault to her senses.

_Well, it had to happen, one way or another…_ she consoled herself, but she refused to be relieved by the idea. She felt as if that one moment with him tilted her axis and altered her universe. How he managed to turn her world upside down with so little effort, she had no idea.

She was not born yesterday, and she had notions of a wife's duties to her husband…but she never knew it was that disturbing. She thought it was done without consideration, just what it was — duty. A duty to give him heirs, and that was all.

It suddenly dawned on her that her new life was harder than she anticipated.

_Maybe I will be more settled with oniichan, after all…_

---

Touya nearly did it. He nearly pulled out his katana and slashed that impudent brat to his death. How dare he toy with his sister? He had no right to do it! He should have acted upon impulse and hesitated not. The death of the Tairas' heir would have simplified matters for them. If not for his sister's sake…

_No, you're being irrational once more, Touya. You would have plunged Nippon to war. But this is bad…the sooner I take her, the better. Damn her father for using her as a pawn in this deadly game of power!_

"Oniichan? Are you still here?" Her voice was a mere whisper. She had risen from the corner of the room and was approaching the window.

"Yes, I am here." He answered, barely succeeding in keeping his voice level. "Damn that brat, and damn your father too!" He returned to the room and in lengthy strides approached his sister. "Daijobu desu ka?"

"I am alright, oniichan. Just a bit shaken…"

"He did not do anything, did he?" He asked roughly. He was uncertain of what he had done, as it was hard to see beneath the thick leaves he was hiding in.

"Iie…" Sakura flushed and her eyes refused to meet his. It was enough to re-arouse his suspicions.

"Let's go now, Sakura. We both know you are unsafe here!"

"I…I can't come with you, oniichan. W-why don't you stay here instead?"

His eyebrows furrowed to a single line as she uttered her disapproval.

"Doushite? Why won't you come with me?"

"W-wakaranai…I just don't know, oniichan…"

"Don't tell me you are foolish enough to feel something for that brat?"

"Iie!" The violence of her reaction only increased the worry in his heart. "I…I barely know him…"

"Then pray tell me why," he pushed further, trying to make an honest woman out of his sister for once. She has always been on guard with her emotions and she won't easily admit how she truly felt.

"I don't know. That's the truth, oniichan."

He shook his head, understanding the situation. She was confused and curious. And her curiosity just might kill her.

"You're just confused. You need to come with me, or the Minamotos will kill you as well!"

---

Syaoran frowned, stopping on his tracks. He thought he heard a shout emanate from the room he just left. His suspicions arising, he backtracked to the room of his wife.

"…will kill you as well!" There was no mistaking it. It was a man's voice from Sakura's room.

He entered the room in time to see a man holding Sakura by the wrist, looking upset. He needed only to spare him a glance to know he was a spy. His face was covered with cloth, but he bore the Minamoto crest just the same on his shirt.

"Omae (You)…spy!!!" He raged out, moving forward to attack the man.

---

"No!" That single word froze her husband and stopped her brother from slicing him to pieces. Both men turned to her with questioning eyes.

"What does this mean?" Syaoran asked, dropping his fighting stance and staring at her.

"I…If you are to kill off each other, please do it elsewhere. I faint at the sight of blood."

"Damn it, he was manhandling you!" Syaoran shouted, causing her to cower.

"H-he wasn't…" She sent a glance toward her brother, pleading with him to flee for now. "H-he was just about to leave…"

Touya understood Sakura's desire to save him, but he could not understand why she had to do it. She need not put her life in line as well. If they ever knew of their connection…

He refused her way of thinking, but he had to retreat, for now. He gazed at her meaningfully before leaving.

Judging by the look on her husband's face, Sakura was in trouble. So he was not so dense, after all, to realize they somehow were connected.

Touya knew not what may happen, but he had to trust his sister for now.

For now.

A/N: I'll see you in 4: Inner Wars. This fanfic will last an approximate of 27 chapters, epilogue included. So, 24 chapters to go. I'll try to update the others too. Later this day, I hope.


	6. Chapter 4: Inner Wars

Sweet Deception

Witch-Mistress-Animaru

A/N: Sneaking an opportunity to write even a single fanfiction now. Oh, well, here I go…I haven't really anything to say except that summer school's ended and now I'm officially a full-time bum. It doesn't help that enrolment for 1st sem is due two weeks from now and that I fear facing the torturous enlistment.

Enough of blabbing, I might as well start quenching your thirst for this…er…novel fanfiction.

4: Inner Wars

_We have reached the calm before a storm._

_Just when you think things can go no worse, circumstances prove you wrong._

Sakura felt rather than saw his burning gaze on her. She knew she was in trouble, but she will not let this man bully her into blundering. She will protect her brother, no matter what. He had no right to turn those accusing eyes on her now, not since their little chat about the situation.

Squaring her shoulders, she looked up to meet his eyes. She felt an unfamiliar jolt of fear in her chest when she saw the grimness of his face.

She could almost see the inner turmoil he experienced. She shivered involuntarily as he stepped toward her, fearing the worst.

He stopped at arm's length, his eyes burning fiercely, that if she was a weaker woman she would have scurried from it.

"Explain." All her resolve to do what she must dissolved with that single word he uttered. She felt like a rat trapped by a vicious cat, a prey stalked upon and cornered by the hungry wolf.

"T-there's nothing to explain," her attempt at nonchalance was easily betrayed by the apparent cower in her voice. His lips pressed to a thin line, expressing his displeasure at her lie. "I…I could not tell you. He would come back and kill me if I did!" How easily she uttered the lie. Dear God, she was digging her own grave with the lies she threw. Was this the life meant for her, a life founded on lies and falsehoods? She despaired, feeling more alone than she ever had been in her life.

"Liar," he fumed, enunciating the word. His hand shot out to cross the gap between them, drawing her brutishly toward him. All at once, he sent her senses reeling from his presence. He was crowding her, imprisoning her. His hand on her arm hurt, but she dared not squeak out her discomfort. "Who was that man? Who was he that you did not wish to see him killed?"

"I don't know!" She exclaimed, hoping it would satisfy him but knowing it won't. Pain sliced through her as his viselike grip tightened. Her arm felt benumbed, and she could not stop the tears of pain from her eyes. "P-please, you're hurting me…"

"You deserve it!" He retorted, though she felt his grip loosen a little, bringing feeling back to her hand. "Tell me the truth. I will not move until you tell me."

"He was not a spy…" She prayed it was the truth, but no, her brother's actions were enough to belie her words.

"Don't — lie — to— me!" He said furiously, forcing her to look at him. "He serves the Minamotos! That traitor clan, as you know it, is the biggest threat to our ascendancy!"

"Does it really matter so much?" She whispered. She was unaware that she had spoken of her thoughts aloud. If truth be told, she was asserting herself. Power came at a too-big price to pay, she thought, and it did not look as alluring as before to her. If it caused nothing but division in society and strife for everyone else, it was not what she wanted.

**Syaoran** froze at her words. They sounded hollow, but the ring of truth was apparent in them. _Does it matter so much?_ He knew the answer to that. Hell, he did not even care about Nippon until his grandfather called upon him to be heir apparent to the throne. Why was he pretending to care so much now?

Fear gripped him the moment he reached his answer to that.

He was afraid of her connection to the man. It was a highly personal reason, and not the one he was ranting about just now. Yet what right did he have to assert that? They had an agreement, and if she has decided to take on a lover on the side, he could hardly reprimand her, could he? As long as she knew where her loyalties should lie, he should hardly care what she did privately.

So he caught her lover, big deal. He heard many western ladies of the court have them. And her father being a merchant, she obviously acquired knowledge other ladies haven't.

Yet as he gazed at her serene face, he found it hard to believe she was a woman of the world.

"Who was he? I will not be siring a bastard of his, you hear? What do I know if my 'son' isn't mine after all?" He asked, seeing red at the thought that the man has had liberties he did not even start asserting yet.

He saw her look of surprise at his words, then a blush creep on her face when she grasped his meaning. But her last reaction caught him by surprise. She looked outrage, positively. She succeeded in freeing herself from his grasp. Before he knew it, he felt her small palm against his cheek in a forceful slap.

"How dare you insinuate that…that…" She was unable to utter the words out, but her reaction pleased him a bit. So he jumped at the wrong conclusion.

"So who was he? I'll never leave it be until you tell me."

"He…he is not a spy. Or at least he did not come here with that purpose." She started talking, her voice husky with emotion that made him want to throttle the man's neck, if he could find him, at least. "He came for me."

"What do you mean?" He asked, eyes narrowing. This sounded dodgy, he decided, and sneaking around would do no harm.

"Exactly what I said. He came for me."

"Can we set this straight? Does this 'he' have a name?"

"You mean oni—I mean Touya-san? He is my cousin through my mother's side." Yet her eyes did not meet his when she offered that information.

"How did he come to serve the Minamotos?"

"The truth is I have no idea. He disappeared four years ago without notice."

"He ran away?" This was starting to get interesting.

"You could say that, yes." Then her eyes met his for the first time. "But not without reason! My mo—my aunt drove him away. Or her indifference did." She said the words with emotion, her eyes brimming with unshed tears.

"And what is your feeling toward him?"

"It was a long time since I last saw him. I was glad to see him, but I…I have hoped that we need not be enemies. He was my…he was a brother to me, you see."

So that was it. His wife considered that man her brother. Relief surged through him.

"**Could **you not convince him to join our side?" Sakura's eyes widened in surprise. She never expected that from him. She thought she was possibly doomed, but apparently she was mistaken.

"He would never join our side. His father is a Minamoto who raped my mo…aunt." Damn, must she keep on slipping on that fact?

"I see. And what did he say?"

"If I did not join their side, the Minamotos will kill me…as the rest of the Taira clan."

"So it is their plan, I take it? Well, cousin of yours or not, if I see him again around here, I'll have his head in a platter! So unless you think you can change his mind, don't you dare call on him!"

"I…I know…" she felt her knees go weak at his words. Dear lord, her brother and she were in such a mess! She did not know how to extricate themselves from this mess without getting hurt — or worse, killed in the process.

That last thought was the last straw. She dropped to her knees, feeling weak and helpless. The air was suffocating her. And to think she was not one who fainted easily.

Hysterical tears pooled down her cheeks as she wept.

**Syaoran** dropped to his knees as well, catching her in time as she fell to the floor.

It was the first time he saw her lose control, and it was his weakness, too. He hated seeing women weep, and she never saw one do it with as much grace as she did. He felt guilt eat up inside him, but he was unable to stop himself from making that idle threat, in case she had any thoughts on leaving the palace.

"Stop crying," that didn't come out right. It was a hoarse command more than anything, causing her to weep harder. He winced before awkwardly stroking her hair, pacifying her. "Lord, I didn't mean to sound so… so cruel. I'm sorry. Please stop crying, I can't bear it if you do…"

He cradled her in his arms, afraid to let her go, as if she would melt without him. Thankfully, her sobs have ceased, and she sat there with him, occasional hiccups emanating from her throbbing lips.

"I…I'm okay now. I will be forever grateful to you if…if you don't tell anyone about oniichan…" She seemed unaware of how he addressed her cousin. But he did not care anymore. They seem fond of each other in that familial manner, and nothing else. It appears that he meant a lot to Sakura, for she never lost control in the brief moments they were together.

"I —"

"Please? He was my…only friend…and family…"

How could he deny those pleading eyes, still bright and sore from crying? Not that her waif-looking appearance marred her beauty.

"Why do you care so much about him, when you are in danger yourself?"

"It…I decided it doesn't matter anymore. There are things more important…than lure of power…"

He did not understand her words at all, but he nodded all the same.

"I agree." He answered, though he was unsure what he was agreeing to. "And I promise not to tell a soul about him."

"Arigatou gozaimasu," she said, and to his surprise…and pleasure, she threw her arms around him in a grateful hug.

"It's…nothing…" It took all his self-control to not throw her to her bed and ravish her. He pushed her gently. She appeared to have done it unconsciously, for he saw bright red spots appear on her cheeks as she released him. She was a marvel, he thought. And highly amusing, not to mention refreshing.

"I'm sorry about what I said. I did not mean it. Don't let my stupidity distress you, you hear? Rest a bit, then we shall lunch together." To his eternal surprise, he bent forward to kiss her on the forehead before he stood up and left.

_Nothing is permanent in this world, but must emotion be so fickle?_

_Yesterday I was determined to hate him, go against his wishes_

_Yet why am I melting under the spell of one embrace?_

_I want to feel nothing, to remain numb and unnerved_

_But his touch is liquid fire, spreading in my whole being_

_Burning me to submission, making me believe_

_In that absurdity I call love_

_And the possibility of its existence in this world, after all_

---

Touya felt, somehow, that he knew Sakura's reason for staying. He feared he might be correct, but if he were, then his sister will never side with the Minamotos.

If his assumptions were correct, then his sister is nurturing affection for that brat of a husband she has.

That complicates matters, all right, but it was not as bad as it sounded. If luck was on their side…then…but damn it, it would be a great risk of their lives!

He didn't want them to be enemies, no. Nor would he stand in the way of her happiness. If worse came to worst, he simply will have to give up his alliance with the clan that nurtured him.

For the meantime, he will return to Heian-Kyo and be a spy for them, while he tries to coax his sister to running away with him.

And that was where he was headed now, after he articulated his willingness to be spy to the head of the clan. It did not surprise them, for though spies died in the most gruesome manner, they were the ones most rewarded in success of the clan they served.

He was doing it all, he knew, for Sakura. May God will it that she is worth it all still.

That she has not turned to a different person in his absence.

Why does his family bring him nothing but trouble? First, Sakura, then his brothers —or should he say half-brothers?— Eriol and Yue, the heirs of the clan. He found out about it in his four – year stay in the territory. True, Eriol did not know his relation to Yue, but Yue seemed to know about it. Why else would he take a starving lad under his wing years ago?

Yue will never admit to compassion, but it was the one reason Touya was alive now. He knew not if Yue knew their true relation or not, but he did not care. Yue was the closest thing to a brother he had. So is Eriol, though that lad brought nothing but trouble recently.

Now, though, he was torn between saving his sister and his loyalty to his newfound family, the Minamotos.

Was there any difference between the Taira and Minamoto? In his opinion, there was naught a difference between them. They were both power-hungry families eager to gobble Nippon whole. It was sad that he and his sister were relevant pawns in this game.

No wonder Sakura seemed to want to be a more powerful piece.

Yet it was dangerous; a wrong move could cost her life if she was not careful.

Which is why he must do what he can to save her from destruction.

_Sakura, I'm on my way now. Please be patient and do nothing rash._

---

Syaoran kept thinking about her. No, not Meilin, but Sakura. Sweet, naïve, pretentious…she was a lot of things he could think of, but he knew she was certainly not maneuvering. She was making the best out of the match, and she was doing fine.

He felt…no, he knew she was lying about certain things about her 'cousin.' And he actually intends to find out who he really was.

Finding himself agitated, he paced about his room, feeling more restless by the minute.

He knew there was no way to quell his curiosity but to obtain more information.

_Who is 'Touya-san'?_

He stood up abruptly, heading for the door. He raced downstairs, barely registering his butler's voice.

"Xiao Lang-sama, lunch is due in five minutes. Xiao Lang-sama!"

"You serve the _hime,_ I'm going somewhere."

---

Sakura went down the huge dining hall with a rare smile on her face.

_Floating like a cloud waiting for the wind_

_To take me to my destiny of being with you_

_Embracing my fate, my inevitable destiny_

_Of being yours for always_

She never felt this happy before. All things considered, she felt happy. Why, she had no idea.

"Konnichiwa, Wei-san," she greeted the butler.

"Konnichiwa, Sakura-hime. Lunch is served. I shall call on your maidservant in a moment."

Sakura felt her insides deflate, like a pin — or a thousand pins, for that matter, pricked her on the chest.

"So…I will be dining alone, then?" She asked, hoping her face did not fall from its bright demeanor earlier.

"No, hime. Xiao Lang-sama's mother has arrived."

"Ah, I see…" Her eyes widened when she grasped Wei's words. "Mother?"

"Hai. She came all the way from Guan Dong to congratulate you and her son. It is unfortunate he chose to go out today. But it is no matter, your presence will suffice. Besides, she hints on staying for a few days." Catching her worried frown, Wei added, "No need to worry, Sakura-hime, she is a nice woman. She can be stern, but I think I am right in saying that you will like her."

"Ah…I see. Chotto matte, Wei-san." She turned back and left Wei, feeling her heart pounding against her chest.

What would the woman make of her? What if she is as unbearable as her aunt, or worse, cold like her mother? Could she be distant and respectful? Was she presentable enough?

She shook her head, feeling anxious.

_Can this get more complicated than it already is?_

A/N: I'm back to read mode now, so I'll see you next time I update.

Watch out for chapter 5: Mothers.


	7. Chapter 5: Mothers

Sweet Deception

Witch-Mistress-Animaru

A/N: This is the first time I was not depressed with a handful of reviews for the story. And that is an honest fact. I believe that writing this story is priceless, and since I have so much fun writing it, why should I set store on the feedback? Nonetheless, I loved the reviews of the readers of this fiction. I am eternally grateful to all of you.

Can I have your opinion after you read this chapter? Chapter 6: Desires is a full-length lemon, and I'm wondering if it will be premature or not. I still have time to revise it, so let me know after you read this one.

(A/N finished May 25, 2007)

I felt the need to redeem Nadeshiko here. Pardon me.

5: Mothers

"_Mama, just killed a man — put a gun against his head, pulled the trigger now he's dead… Mama, life has just begun, but now I've thrown it all away…"_

_- Bohemian Rhapsody, Queen_

_Mothers know best._

Nadeshiko sighed as she swept the lawn. It was not her duty anymore, not since she became the lord's mistress, but she can't stand doing nothing. And that was exactly what she had been doing for the past decade or so, since she became Fujitaka's mistress.

It was the turning point of her monotonous life, she noted listlessly.

_Mistress? Or was whore a more apt word?_ She thought bitterly, for that was what she felt better described her after all that had happened.

After what has been said and done, she never felt so little. She never felt so used. Or so betrayed. It was always Fujitaka. It always came back to him.

Everything always came back to him in the end. All her life can be summed up to pleasing him, trying to catch his attention.

Which she did. Only, such affection was not meant to last. She was only a means to an end — an end nobody could have predicted. And certainly did not please him.

All that was in the past now, though. She was way better from that silly little girl who pined after her sister's husband. She knew a lot more. She was no longer that naïve, innocent girl who believed the sweet promises and lies fed to her.

She did not love the man anymore, though once, long ago, she admits having cherished him in her heart. But not anymore. She knew better than that. That love died after what he did to her — promised her the world then left her when she could not give him what he wanted: an heir.

She figured after the many years she spent watching him, but particularly these last few years, that everything he did was calculated. She could not blame him for that — Fujitaka was what circumstances made him to be. But that did not excuse his hideous scheming to get back what he believed was his by birthright.

Waking up from the dream-turned-nightmare was the hardest part. After she recognized his too-many shortcomings, there came anger — for herself and her gullibility, for him and his manipulations. Then came disgust and doubt — did he not feel anything for her at all? Was she just a plaything to him and his tyrannical mind? Then, when one would expect her to explode, to self-destruct, she just stopped feeling. Emptiness filled her, eating up her thoughts, her heart — until it felt like there was nothing left to feel. Numb to the core, that was what she was.

It took a while for reality to sink in. Then there came regret and guilt — a bitterness that laced her person until recently, until she has lost everything she has neglected.

Now she realized her actions were unforgivable. She had hurt her sister beyond words when she agreed to be used by the cruel man who was master of this household. She spited her daughter for being what she was. She neglected his elder son, who might have been a result of violation on her person, but was still her son nonetheless.

If she could only turn back time, she would have done so. She felt like there were so many mistakes in her life, too many wrong turns. She was uncertain for what reasons she lived for — everyone was gone.

She was alone.

Sometimes, when the loneliness became unbearable, she thought of her elder sister — how lucky she was to have a proper family — an acceptable, bourgeoisie life. Though it was a long time since she went to bed with Fujitaka, but she was still tagged as his concubine.

Yes, Sonomi was luckier than she in most ways, she always thought. Lucky to have escaped those bastards who violated her, lucky to have escaped slavery by marrying Fujitaka.

Yet sometimes, when she contemplated the despicable creature that was Sonomi's husband, she pitied her sister. Maybe Sonomi was not as lucky as she thought. What worst punishment could there be compared to having such a man for a husband?

Maybe it was what turned Sonomi to a bloodless bitch — what caused such cold personality to surface.

She wiped the sweat from her face, pausing as she gazed at the pile of leaves before her.

Ah, they were the richest red and brown, tainted with gold. It was not yet autumn, and yet, she has at her feet the wonders of nature.

She was glad, for once, to be able to enjoy life's simple pleasures. It had been a long time since she has looked at something with contentment.

But as she gazed at them longer, she noted how the rich red leaves were so much alike her daughter's hair, a fiery, shining auburn.

As her thoughts turned to her children, she can't help but smile bitterly. She was always a greedy woman, wasn't she? Always wanting more than what life had given her and losing what little she had in the process.

Touya and Sakura…whatever became of them? Sakura had been gone from the household a good few days which seemed like an eternity to her. And eternity it will be, too. She has resigned to the fact that she might just never see her daughter again…might never get the chance to rectify her mistakes.

Touya, on the other hand, was another story. It has been five years since she last saw her son. He was the seed of a rapist, but Nadeshiko did not hate him, no. In fact, she believed she might have loved him, in her own abstract way. Truth be told, she loved both her children, but by the time she realized she neglected them, it was too late.

At the time of Touya's birth, she was still under a state of shock and immense trauma. There were nights she woke up screaming, remembering the unspeakable terror of her violation.

But the sum of it all was, she had been selfish. She was too self-centered, too focused on what had happened, refusing to move on and start anew. In the end, her son chose to bail out and ran away. Nadeshiko never blamed him for that. In fact, it deemed the only sensible choice at the time, for his mother never woke up from her past's nightmares for a long time.

That had been Sakura's case, as well. The siblings were three years apart. Sakura might have been the perfect daughter, but Nadeshiko was too busy blaming her for being a girl — she wanted a son badly to relinquish her hold on Fujitaka. She was busy feeling sorry for herself, too busy feeling angry at the world to care for her growing-up daughter.

How Sakura must hate her.

And now, Sakura — her Sakura was now Sonomi's daughter to the eyes of the world. She can never claim her daughter as hers proudly, can never try and be a mother to her in the true sense of the word. The chance was long gone, and that was the end of that. Her jibe on her wedding day hurt Nadeshiko in a way that pierced her soul.

And it was all her fault. No one else was to blame. If only she cared a bit more, if her obsession had not blinded her…

…ah, the endless possibilities of the 'if only' and 'could have been.'

But they all remained an unattainable dream for her.

Now, Fujitaka had used Sakura as he had used her. That was what angered her, for he had no right to assert his claims when he has never been a father to her.

_Sakura, what have I done?_

She was still lost in her thoughts when a voice penetrated her dreamlike stupor.

"Pardon me, madam," a male voice said from beyond the wooden fence. She turned, startled, to see a young man with brown hair and eyes of rich golden amber. He was very comely, she decided. As for character, she is yet to know. But she was certain he was a man of rank — his easy gait and confident manner ensured that.

"Yes?" She asked politely, turning towards him cautiously.

"Is this the Kinomoto household?"

"Indeed it is," she answered back, nodding her head lightly. She frowned, wondering who this man was. "But the master of the house is away at present. As for…" She paused, letting her curiosity get the better of her. "Who are you?"

"Ah, how very rude of me," he said, nodding vigorously. "I am Li Xiao Lang, madam; I do believe you know of me."

Nadeshiko stared disbelievingly at Syaoran for a full minute. Her heart beat fast as she realized who _he_ was.

"Oh, yes, indeed…How rude of me to keep you standing there. You should not be going about without protection, Xiao Lang-sama. Rebels abound the place…" She opened the fence separating them. "Do come in, sir." She felt her excitement at the thought of meeting the man who now was her son-in-law, no less. "If you should know, I am Amamiya Nadeshiko, Sakura's mo — aunt."

"Ah…the very one I seek." He said, causing her to turn and stare questioningly at him.

"You came for me?" Did he know something he should not?

"Yes…well, I…uh…I came to ask about your son…Amamiya Touya."

Clank. The dustpan Nadeshiko carried fell on the grass as she stared at Syaoran dumbly.

"W-what…I do not understand why you should ask that, my dear."

"Nadeshiko-san…I may call you Nadeshiko-san, may I not?" When she nodded, Syaoran went on. "I…let us say…Well, you see, your son has paid us a visit…unexpectedly. I only wish to ask about him."

"Why, has your wife not told you anything?"

"She will not say exactly…I mean…"

"I understand. Well, if you must know, I have little information to offer you, as Touya ran off when he was fifteen, and I have not heard from him since." Nadeshiko's voice broke. "You see, I cannot say I have been a good mother to th — him."

"I…I am sorry to hear that." Syaoran offered, at a loss of what to say.

"You need not be. It happened a long time ago." Nadeshiko shrugged, gesturing to the silk-draped seat in the receiving room. "Have a seat while I prepare some tea."

"There's no need, Nadeshiko-san. I won't be long anyway."

"If you say so." All her excitement was drained at the thought of Touya. The old emptiness, the numbness, was creeping back to her veins "What of his unexpected visit, you were saying?"

"He barged in to the palace, bearing a Minamoto crest on his ninja's clothing." He said hurriedly, then regretting it upon the flash of sadness in the woman's eyes.

"I…see. He must have found his father, then."

"What do you mean, madam?"

"Touya…" Nadeshiko smiled mirthlessly, her eyes bearing all her sorrow and pain. "…was the result when the Minamotos came here to pillage like common thieves and outlaws and found me…violated me. Don't look so shocked," she added with a grim smile. "I'm afraid you don't know even half of it."

"I'm sorry," he said, this time truly meaning it. "But if only you'd enlighten me, ma'am."

"I am in no place to do that," Nadeshiko said, her eyes softening. "I am sorry to be of no help at all, but that is how it is."

"Why?"

"Well…I am only protecting those I hold dear in my heart."

"I…I see. What do you know about your son?"

"I'm afraid I can't be much help on that, either. You see, he did not bother to contact us. I doubt if even Sakura knew his whereabouts until now."

"Are they truly that close?"

"Truly, they are…as close as brother and sister could be."

"Then —"

"I cannot help you try and understand them both. But should your paths cross my son's again, you must tell him that…that I love him, truly. And that…he should come home some time."

Syaoran did not know what to say. If he saw the man again it would inevitably be in a battlefield, but he could not say no to this woman. She was…a seemingly strong but broken person, he noted. He found himself nodding mutely.

"I can see you are a good man," she said with a tight smile. She placed a gloved hand against his cheek, eyeing him with gentleness he never saw before. "You will take care of our Sakura." The last sentence was not imposing or requesting, but one of certain assertion.

"You will not let her be hurt, be a pawn of this game, will you?" Nadeshiko stood up abruptly, bowed at him, before turning away. He stared at her for a while until he thought he should leave.

_Amamiya Nadeshiko is a bit strange, but I find her… a beautiful person all in all,_ he thought with an amused shake of the head.

He had wheedled all the information he could garner, and it was pointless to push the matter further.

---

**Imperial Palace**

Li Yelan studied the girl before her. She had to be in her late teens in years, she conceded, but her eyes, imperturbed and aloof, told of much more wisdom than her age allowed. She refused to be coddled, refused to show any warmth. Yelan had tried and failed many attempts at conversation. Every smile she gave was tiny and strained, every reaction minimal. It was rather like dining with a statue.

Yet she was not deterred. She knew the girl was tense; she could sense it in the airs around her. In fact, the girl amused her — she noted how much she was like her Syaoran. Cold, distant, but fiery in some ways. This was a girl he could not dominate, a girl who could argue with him without backing down. Here was a girl obviously toughened by circumstances, a girl who lived inside her protective shell.

If they will only give it a chance, they could have a chance to love.

By the looks of it, though, the two have not given the match a chance before condemning it.

"How old are you, my dear?"

"Eighteen this april first, Yelan-san." Was it her imagination, or did the girl refuse to meet her eyes? Was she lying?

"Please call me mother, Sakura."

"Yes, Yela — Mother," she answered automatically, almost absently.

"Tell me, how are you relating to my son?"

"We relate well enough." She said blankly, her face passive, that Yelan felt so frustrated.

"I see," Yelan wiped her face with a table cloth before continuing. "I don't understand that son of mine, leaving his wife alone to dine."

"It's all right, Ye — Mother. We rarely lunch together."

"Listen, my dear. I know this was a mere arrangement, but do you not think it deserves a chance?"

"I don't really see it that way, Yelan-san. If you…if you'll excuse me."

Yelan's eyes followed Sakura as she retreated to her shell further.

She knew the girl was intending to shut her out. She was unsure how she knew, she just felt it. It was almost as if the girl feared to get too close to anyone. It did not anger her, only aroused her curiosity more.

Something was definitely amiss, she decided. And whatever was wrong, she will find out. Syaoran deserved something better — way better, after what he has been through.

Somehow, despite this problem she foresaw, Yelan found the girl a good choice. She was strong and wily, someone who will not take to manipulation all too kindly.

Aside from that, Yelan saw in Sakura what she was years and years ago.

She only hoped that her son will have the sense to realize what he had in his hands. She hoped they will complement each other — complete the emptiness within, find their haven in the forced, trapping relationship.

No, she disagreed. She knew it will happen one way or the other.

The two are destined for each other, she was sure of it.

She only hoped they realize it early enough.

_She will be good forhim, I know it in my heart…for he doesn't deserve anything less._

A/N: Wait for 6: Desires.


	8. Chapter 6: Desires, Fears

Sweet Deception

Witch-Mistress-Animaru

A/N: I'm actually torn between making this a Lemon chapter or not. Anyway, I decided to compromise and make this chapter a slight lemon but not full. I've decided it's better to build the sexual and emotional tension for next chapter. Sadly, that would mean a change in the plot. If I made this a full-length lemon as planned, you would have known what's to happen between Tomoyo and Eriol. Well, I won't spoil that…It's bound to come up next chapter, which will be a full-length lemon, by the way.

(This part written June 19, 2007)

And for the reviewer who wondered how relevant the last chapter was to this story, you'll have to find out much, much later in the story. The only thing I'm saying as to that is, THIS STORY IS NOT ENTIRELY A ROMANCE ONE. IT HAS ITS PLOTS AND TWISTS, WITH REGARDS TO THE OTHER ASPECTS AND ELEMENTS OF THE STORY, LIKE THE SETTING. EVEN THE MOST SEEMINGLY IRRELEVANT CHARACTER MIGHT SURPRISE YOU AT SOME POINT.

The very reason this story has an intricate storyline and characterization is because I have learned my lesson that a good story has to have good characters who speak for themselves, rather than let the plot work out for itself. It's a lesson I've understood well from my CW prof.

I repeat — the story does not revolve on Sakura and Syaoran alone. There is the aspect of both characters' family, background, and character. Plus, let us not forget Sakura's sister in the story Tomoyo and her own love story and adventure. And let us not forget Touya and his inner turmoil…plus of course, the mothers of our characters. And of course, Fujitaka. We never know what may happen, and believe me that when I post a chapter, the events there are very much RELEVANT TO THE STORY. You'll find them essential to the plot I'm building.

(This super-long A/N portion finished June 12, 2007 — Araw ng Kalayaan! Mabuhay ang Pinoy!)

One defense before anything else: We do know cousins are allowed to marry or something like that in some countries, especially in old times. That's the basis I took for this little twist in this chapter.

Last note: Constructive and reasonable criticisms accepted. Just no unreasonable flaming.

Trivia! Sakura's fear of being like her mother is called _Matrophobia._ It does exist.

6: Desires, Fears

"_I'm afraid to fly and I don't know why_

_I'm jealous of the people who are not afraid to die…"_

_-Fallin', Teri Desiderio_

_Love is a term people use to make lust acceptable._

"_I can't read you; I wish I knew what's going through your mind_

_Can't touch you, your heart's defending, I get left behind…"_

_I Can't Read You, Daniel Bedingfield_

Sakura paced about in her room, restless and agitated. She knew she had been deliberately rude to her mother-in-law, yet she could not do anything about it. She could not trust anyone. She could only rely on herself to survive. She cannot afford to make a liaison with Syaoran's mother, no matter how likeable she proved to be. She was afraid that when she started feeling comfortable to Yelan, she would start spilling all her deep-seated secrets, her darkest fears and childish nightmares. She was afraid that her mask of invulnerability will be removed to reveal the defenseless girl inside, the insecure child beneath the armor.

Li Yelan represented everything her own mother had not — love, security, kindness, home. She was afraid to take what she had to offer; she was afraid that when she began to take it, everything would dissolve to nothing and leave her with nothing at all.

She could not let that happen.

Yet here she was, with bitter bile rising to her throat in remorse. Guilt gnawed up her insides as she thought of how her mother-in-law felt while she treated her with cool indifference. Damn it, the woman knew nothing! She was not to blame for the situation she was in now! Why did she behave like an extremely prickly urchin?

_Well,_ she thought with disdain, _I could do nothing for what has happened._

Her stomach grumbled in protest, cutting off her self-pitying and remorseful thoughts.

She hardly touched her food, merely pushing it around the plate as she squirmed under Li Yelan's gaze. Aside from that, she was busy contemplating her husband's absence during the meal. Not that it was supposed to be her business, but what was she supposed to think when he does not show up where he promised to do so?

She thought her hunger has diminished. She was wrong, perhaps, but she will never go back to the kitchen and ask for food. It would only arouse Li Yelan's curiosity.

She was worried about Syaoran, but angered at the same time. She felt like a fool a hundred times that day — a fool for hoping so much, and more so a fool for still brooding about it. Mayhap her disappointment fueled this feeling of discontent and agitation.

Will she ask for an explanation? Probably not. He owed her nothing. Nor will she demand for anything. It was, after all, what they had agreed upon on that very first day.

He intrigued her, it was true. She will admit as much. But she was not a child anymore; she was determined to remain in control of her emotions. She will not be a slave to her attractions, like her mother was. She will not be used the way Nadeshiko was used.

She had no need for his affection. Or his protection, for that matter. Or anything that he had to offer, deuce it!

_So why are you so affected by a mere broken promise, if you believed it was not going to be fulfilled?_ A lecherous voice said from the depths of her muddled brain, causing her to fume all the more.

_I am not affected, no, no! I expected such behavior from him! He is doubtlessly a man with no word of honor. I do not even comprehend this foolish… attraction I have for him, and I am not trying to! He is a bully, a foolhardy man. Besides, I do know where I stand with him._

Her mind ranted on and on, somehow pacifying her, once again erecting the protective walls surrounding her vulnerable heart from the crumbled debris it had been earlier.

But her restlessness remained within her.

It was as if her yearning for a family will never go away. She suddenly realized the enormity of her ambitions and how futile it was. Faced with the danger of her situation, she realized it has to end. Everything was dangerous as it was tempting. And she must do something about it — she had to rectify her mistake in assessing the situation.

Her face was again astute, devoid of any emotion. Her demeanor belied the inner turmoil she felt earlier as she awaited her husband's return. She must do it at once, or she would be swayed to stay, she knew.

She was again a statue, frozen, cold. She was again the incomprehensible woman; the stranger he called his wife when he arrived a few minutes after she has composed herself.

**Syaoran's** strides were huge and urgent as he made his way to his wife's room. It was foolish to behave like a besotted pup, but to hell with being foolish or not. He threw caution to the winds after what he has learned.

It did not strike him as strange that he did not even think of Meilin for a good few days now.

He was busy figuring out his wife, busy trying to get through the barriers to reach her, truly reach her.

He wanted to know her as a person. He wanted to find out what she truly was, who she truly was beneath the poker face.

On top of it all, he wanted to protect her from being a pawn of this evil game of power. Nadeshiko Amamiya was right — she need not be a pawn in this deadly war. And she also need not add to dangers of her position by corresponding with her cousin. He meant a lot to her, he understood that, but she must sever all ties with him, if she must live.

_Or must she really?_ A nasty voice drawled out venomously from inside his mind. _Or you are the only one to think that? You do know that cousin-cousin relationships are acceptable…Could it be that your jealousy blinds you? Admit you need information from that man…_

He shook his head violently to clear his thoughts.

Yet there was a thought. Although Nadeshiko Amamiya said their relationship was entirely platonic, it need not be the case. They might have hidden it from their family —

_Ah, shut it!_

He reached her room after what seemed to be an eternity. He opened the door after having knocked first. She murmured a response before he did so.

He drew a sharp breath as he gazed at her. Something was definitely amiss. Her arrestingly beautiful face was blank and empty, so unlike what he had seen when she cried in distress.

Yet he was certain that Taira no Li Sakura was human. Hidden somewhere beneath this façade of cold composure was a woman full of life.

He just had to keep on shredding her disguises and crumbling her defenses.

Yet as he gazed at her unblinking eyes, her pale, powdered face, Syaoran could feel rocks drop at his stomach.

What had he done wrong? He was certain they were all right a few hours ago…

**Sakura** could feel her heart melting as she gazed at his face filled with confusion. She forced herself to face him, hardening her resolve to end everything — from her father's deception to the very marriage itself.

As she thought of what she was facing, the usual emptiness, the usual hollowness started to build up inside her.

It was sad that they were fated to remain an enigma to each other.

It was sad that she cannot trust him enough with the truth, much more with their family secrets without losing his trust in turn.

It was sad that everything had to end before it had even begun.

It was sad that she can never be his wife, in the true sense of the word.

And what made her want to weep even more was the fact that he might hate her enough to have her killed after what she confesses to him.

That last thought struck a mighty blow at her heart, causing tears to spring from her eyes before she could stop them.

The tears which caused him immense relief and worry — relief that she showed any, _any_ emotion at all…and worry that he might have caused those tears.

"Daijobu desu ka?" He said, stepping forward and encircling his arms around her.

She flinched from his touch, backing away from him as far as possible. She brushed away her tears with a bitter smile plastered on her face.

"I am all right — no, nothing is all right." She rectified her answer, looking away from him. "Saying I am fine would be the biggest lie."

"You speak in riddles. What is wrong?"

"Nothing…or should I say everything?"

"What are you talking about?" Syaoran's brows were furrowed, his eyes gazing intently at her. He seemed to want to approach her but kept his distance nevertheless.

"This!" Losing her composure, Sakura gestured wildly with her arms, throwing them around her. "This is what is wrong."

"What has distressed you?"

"Agreeing in this sham marriage was a mistake." She said, her eyes flowing with tears. "I should have done what Tomo —" She shook her head, "— what any sane woman would have done and ran away."

"Am I to understand that you regret this match now?" He asked, incredulous. He moved quickly and before Sakura knew it his hand was clamped on her wrists painfully. Syaoran's eyes were unreadable, though his anger was unmistakable.

"I must admit — yes." She said defiantly, tilting her chin up, challenging him.

"Is it your bastard cousin, huh? Is he the reason behind this sudden change of heart?" Before his words sunk in, his hand let go and he moved away from her, disbelief in his eyes. "I thought that somehow this could work out as normally as possible, but it seems I was mistaken." He looked disgusted, to her surprise.

Then her confusion cleared. Hysterical laughter burst from her lips as she realized what he was about.

Her oniichan. He was talking about her oniichan.

She forgot about her intention to tell him everything and ask him to let her go. She was feeling more vulnerable than ever right now, and she did not care a whit about the truth.

**Syaoran** did not know what to do. She was hysterical, though God knows why. Nor did he know how to quell her laughter without hurting her physically. He almost regretted doing it when he saw her flushed cheek and the imprint of his hand there. He cursed when more tears flowed from her suddenly sane eyes. He crossed the gap between them and embraced her, cradling her head in his chest.

"Hush…dear God, stop crying," he crooned, feeling awkward and remorseful and foolish all at the same time. "Sakura, please…" That was the first time he addressed her by her name. And it surprised him how easy it rolled out of his tongue. As her sobs lessened, he became aware of her body's softness pressed against him. He felt his manhood rise. He groaned.

_This is madness! I'm supposed to be comforting her, not…not…God!_

She stopped crying, but she was still in a state of shock. He could not…no, he could not be thinking about her like this when she's still unwell!

"Are you all right now?" He inquired a bit too harshly.

"I-I am…" Her voice was soft and quavering, yet he could sense she was trying to control it. "This is silly. I-I…"

"It's fine. You need not act independent and strong all the time." He stated with difficulty, hoping she won't notice his aroused member through the layers of clothing he had. _How perverted,_ he thought with self-disgust, _comforting my wife seduces me?_

"I-…"

"By the by, I apologize for not making it to lunch. I…I had to do something somewhere else."

She looked both surprised and pleased, and Syaoran knew he was right in assuming his absence caused this…this madness. He felt pleased that she was affected by his broken promise.

"It's okay," she answered, not stammering this time. Her hands gently pushed him away, but he did not let go.

"I know! I'll make it up to you. You have not seen all of the palace grounds, have you? What do you say I accompany you while you check it out?"

"Now?" She asked, surprised.

"Why not now? It's a chance for us to get to know each other better."

"I-I see…But…" She seemed to want to decline and was looking for a watertight alibi. "Ah, yes! Your mother is here. Surely you'd like to spend time with her before she leaves?"

"Mother is here?" He frowned, taken aback. That sounded unlike her to visit unannounced. She must be up to something. Whatever it was, he had to find out.

"Well, I will go see her, but we'll go just the same. Is that all right?"

She nodded mutely, looking defeated. She looked so lovely with her eyes glistening and her lips a bit swollen. Then he took note of her reddened cheek, and he felt guilty suddenly.

"I did not hit you too hard, did I?" He asked, laying a hand on it tenderly. "I'm sorry about that." Then, before he could stop himself, he bent down to kiss her slightly swollen cheek. Only, she turned around to face him and his lips landed where it shouldn't have.

They both froze. Syaoran recovered first and before he knew it, he was kissing her more thoroughly than a kiss meant to make amends.

**Sakura** was so surprised by this intimacy that she gasped out loud. A moment later, his tongue began invading her mouth, coaxing her to submission.

Yet she was not scandalized. In fact, she found it disturbing in a nice way. His lips ignited a flame inside her, causing her bones to melt and meld against him.

Without breaking their lips apart, he somehow made their way to her bed.

Everything happened quickly. The next she knew, they were lying on the bed with him on top of her, his hands exploring every inch of her. His lips trailed everywhere, his hands fondled her breasts, untied her sash…

And she was lost to the ecstasy, to the new sensation invading her. Only when his hand moved to her femininity did it dawn to her what was happening.

She froze as sanity returned.

She was not yet prepared for this. Even if she knew it had to happen.

No, she can't go on with it.

He seemed to have noted her hesitation, for his tongue stopped encircling her breasts with wet kisses and stood up abruptly.

Sakura's face turned beet red as she realized their nakedness. Mortified, she stood up and hastily re-tied the sash of her kimono in the fastest way she could. She could not meet his gaze as he arranged his yukata as well. She knew he was watching her all the time.

She thought he was about to approach her again and she flinched.

"I'll see you later," he said gruffly, moving away from her instead. He turned and closed the door with a heavy slam.

The moment she was certain that he was gone, her tears started to fall. She dropped to the bed, weeping at her momentary weakness.

_Why did I let him touch me?_

TBC

A/N: Chapter 7: Seduction is on its way. So is Gangster's Paradise's next chapter. Watch out, everyone. Lemon next chapter. Definitely.


	9. Chapter 7: Seduction

Sweet Deception

Witch-Mistress-Animaru

A/N: This was supposedly lemon, but I changed my mind, so it's still a semi-lemon. We'll reserve that full-length one for next chapter.

Some scenes are supposed to be part of the next chapter, but I guess I want it placed in this chapter.

Last note: Constructive and reasonable criticisms accepted.

A final author's commercial: you noticed it took so long for me to update? I had a hell of a semester, that's why. And I lost half a mind trying to locate the notebook where I scribbled this story.

7: Seduction

"_Just so you know, this feeling's taking control of me_

_And I can't help it..."_

_- Jesse McCartney, Just So You Know_

"_Soaring, flying, there's not a star in heaven that we can't reach..._

_If we're trying, yeah, we're breaking free..."_

_- Breaking Free, Zac Efron and Vanessa Anne Hudgens_

They were walking side by side, a tense silence enveloping them. Sakura's expression was unperturbed, her thoughts indecipherable. Syaoran was clearly agitated and irritated. He kept on frowning and sighing impatiently at odd moments.

They passed by the fountain and turned towards the wild forestry of the palace. Still, they did not say a word. Both lost in their thoughts, they barely noticed each other's presence.

Syaoran was thinking of his mother's words. Earlier, Syaoran spoke with his mother. She seemed to approve of his new wife. She talked of love and all delicate matters that he could not connect with Sakura. He nearly scoffed when she began warning him against hurting her.

"_If you would stop whining and calculating your losses, Xiao Lang, you'll realize the worth of the rewards you have in your hand." Yelan's eyes pierced him as they sat there, talking face to face._

"_I am not —" he started hotly, but Yelan only shook her head at him._

"_The girl has been through a lot, I gather."_

"_She lived in luxury, Mother — she was the only daughter of a rich merchant!"_

"_No, I don't think that is entirely true. There is something about her that touches me. I am certain she is not even aware of the luxuries you are speaking of."_

"_Are you accusing her father of depriving her?"_

"_I am not accusing anyone of anything, Xiao Lang. I am only telling you that something is terribly wrong. She...she is not what she seems to be, that I am certain."_

_When he did not speak, Yelan went on._

"_What I am saying is, take good care of the girl. She deserves it, believe me. You are not to make her cry. The girl has suffered a lot, and she should not endure anymore from you."_

"_What, are you saying I'm..."_

"_No, I am only saying that you are inclined to be apathetic and uncaring. It will not do if you wish to have a peaceful life with your wife."_

"_She is uncaring and apathetic as well. You must understand that this is not a love match, Mother!"_

"_I am well aware how your marriage came about, Xiao Lang, and there is no need for you to take that tone on me."_

"_I can't believe this," Syaoran breathed. "You're my mother, for heaven's sake! And yet you seem to think the worst of me..."_

"_No, I don't. Will you stop behaving like a child? Your obsession to Mamoru's wife, for instance." Syaoran froze at the mention of Meilin._

"_What has she got to do with this?" He asked stiffly._

"_Everything. If you will only stop being dunce about this — no, listen! She is not yours, nor will she ever be, seeing as you are married now. It is useless to pine away after something never yours!"_

"_I know that." He said flatly. "And I don't think it's any affair of yours anymore, Mother..."_

"_Xiao Lang."_

"_I know that I cannot very well have her. But my heart — how do I stop it from feeling for her? Knowing and feeling are two different things..."_

_Yelan looked at her son with something akin to pity but did not say anything._

"_I promised my wife I'd tour her around the grounds. We'll see you later." He said gruffly as he stood up._

Syaoran sighed deeply once more as he surfaced from his thoughts.

She was cold as you please again, he thought grimly as he gazed at the woman beside him. She looked as if the little scene in her room never happened. It was one of the things about her that annoyed him most — her ability to conceal her thoughts, her emotions, and everything that made her human. Looking at her now, she was almost a marble statue, cold and unyielding.

How he wished to penetrate her thoughts, disturb her too-superficial tranquility.

He will never know the disruption happening beneath the surface.

**Sakura's **heart was hammering painfully against her chest. Not a single coherent thought has passed in her mind from the moment he walked in to her room and asked her to accompany him to the grounds.

It was too disturbing, too unnerving to be with him. She was thankful that her appearance and demeanor belied the inner turmoil she felt.

She dared not speak, knowing she might give herself away. Yet as they walked on, silent as the dead, she could not help but notice they were going deeper into the forest-like gardens.

Suddenly, Syaoran stopped dead on his tracks. She stopped as well, wondering what he was up to.

He turned to her, looking furious.

"Are you always like this?"

She turned cool, questioning eyes on him, but she did not try to meet his gaze.

"What do you mean?"

"Like this —" he gestured wildly with his hands. He pointed at a solitary marble piece in the grounds. "Like a statue."

"I cannot be blamed for what I am." She answered, hoping he would be satisfied by her answer.

"Can't you?" He asked softly as his arm shot out to grasp her and pull her closer. She wished he wouldn't do that. She was already a ball of nerves because of his mere proximity.

"Yes," she whispered, looking away from him.

"Tell me," he asked in a furious whisper, "Did our little encounter earlier mean nothing to you?"

"I knew it was going to happen." She avoided his question, she knew.

"Is it nothing more than duty to you? Answer me!" His fingers tightened on her wrist, benumbing her hand.

"I..." She was unable to answer for his lips descended on hers and shut her up.

Her mind reeled with the intensity of his invasion. She forgot where she was, who she was, who he was...

His tongue plundered her mouth, reveling in its sweetness.

Sakura was willing to give in to this strange new sensation, she was ready for it...

...When an unbidden image rose in her mind. Her brother, calling to her. Telling her to wait.

She froze, letting him caress and fondle her until he stopped as well.

"You're unbelievable," he whispered in disgust as he felt her cold unresponsiveness. He let her go and turned on his heel.

"Aren't we touring the grounds?" She asked, her voice quivering slightly this time.

"No. I was wrong when I decided to leave you be."

"Excuse me?" She asked, startled.

"I shouldn't have given you time to re-erect the walls around you." He said grimly, his mouth a mere thin line. "I know better now, however."

She remained silent as he pulled her with him and started his way back to the castle.

**Touya **wanted to kill the man, damn it. He arrived in time to see him kissing his sister. No way, he thought savagely. And he was glad that she resisted his advances.

She might stand a chance, after all.

Moving stealthily along the woods, he strode to follow the two.

_Whoosh, whoosh._

He froze, looking around him. There was somebody else around.

Was it another spy, perhaps? Or a guard?

Then he saw who it was: a woman — crying. She had in her arms a baby, must be hers. Her eyes were red and sore from crying. Her hair was rather disheveled in places.

She looked so pathetic there that he did not have the heart to leave.

Frowning, he hastened to hide up a tree as she kept on crying.

**Meilin** knew she must look stupid there, bawling her eyes out.

What had she done to deserve this fate? All she wanted was to be with Xiao Lang. But his cousin Mamoru has ruined her for any other man. He had taken her virtue by force and made her marry him.

And here she was, married to Li Mamoru and hating every minute of it.

If not for her two children, she would have tried to escape.

Mamoru was obsessed with besting his cousin — but he was doomed to failure, it was certain. He can never be the leader Li Xiao Lang was cut out to be.

Xiao Lang, the one man who kept her going. The man who was never hers, and never will be.

It was all too painful to watch from afar as he shared intimacies with his wife. It kills her to watch from afar. The pain in her chest was unbearable, she could hardly breathe.

She did not mean to spy on them. She had just escaped the temper of Li Mamoru and decided to stay in her secret place, deep in the heart of the forest-like garden, hoping to find solace there.

Instead she nearly walked in on Xiao Lang and his wife, kissing.

She suppressed a sob as she thought of what she saw earlier.

It could have been her who kissed him. It could have been she who walked with him, their children in her arms...

She wished nothing more than to feel his arms around her, but it was no longer possible. It was a mere wish, a wish that could never come true. She closed her eyes, willing the pain to fade, or else to take her away from this...this wretched feeling of loneliness, of emptiness, of desire, of longing. She heard the two arguing before she distinctly heard their footsteps leading them away from her.

Then she let go of that wretched sob clogging her throat and wept soundlessly.

Meilin was destined to never know about the inner turmoil Li Syaoran was feeling during nights when sleep evaded him, when he is torn between the mystery of Li Sakura and the ghost of could've been's with Li Meilin.

Meilin may only wallow in her self-pity, thinking only of how her sacrifices have ended with more suffering. Her sobs robbed her of breath, nearly choking her. It drowned out all the other sounds around her, including the rippling of the leaves as Touya jumped down the tree he was hiding in.

"Stop weeping, for Kami-sama's sake." He growled out of the darkness, causing her to jump and squeak. She stared around wildly, eyeing the man in the shadows. He wore deep-black clothes, _ninja _clothes. Though he wore no hood, his features were obliterated by the shadows the trees cast on his face. He leaned casually against a tree, and though she could not see it, she knew he was staring at her intently. She was so frightened that she ceased her cries at once.

"W-who are you?"

"Hardly matters, does it?" The voice said, torn between irritation and amusement. "I do not think fine ladies of the court should be here, sneaking out to peep at the Prince and his wife. Aside from the fact that it is discourteous, I think that it is also highly dangerous, madam, especially with a child in tow." He spoke patronizingly that Meilin felt her terrible temper snap.

"What do you care? You should speak of yourself, Your Rudeness. You were also...spying...on...on..." She broke as she realized who he might be, _what_ he might be. "You should not be here as well! And I asked who you are!"

"You really do not expect me to answer, do you? And yes, I do not give a care at all," he sounded frustrated and annoyed, she thought. "Only you do not seem to realize just how _unsafe_ you are, madam."

"Is that a threat? Are you threatening me? Do you even know who I am?"

"I do not know you, certainly, but I can tell you are of noble birth, while I am a mere helper around here." He straightened up and if he was not too quick, she could have glimpsed his face, but he turned and was gone. "Well, I might as well leave you be, madam."

"Wait, please! You — you aren't...one of them?"

Silence. Annoyed, Meilin moved to approach him, but thought better of it. "Answer me!"

"Believe me, even if I was, madam, a spy, I would not dare and ravish you here. Weeping, mewling mothers has never been one of my weaknesses." With a blur of leaves, he left.

The insult was deliberate! Meilin tried to follow him. Instead, she turned away, fuming, her son in tow.

---

It was midnight in the Minamoto territories. It was dark, without a single candle or chandelier to light the way, but Tomoyo felt her way around the castle. The center of her femininity felt sore and she was bone-tired that she was so close to fainting.

But nobody must catch her coming out of Minamoto Eriol's room, or there will be hell to pay. Besides, she could not bear to face him now...not now when she has slept with him. He was drunk, yes, that was a given, but to her it hardly mattered.

She kept reminding herself that it was Daidouji Kinoa's shame, not Kinomoto Tomoyo's. But that was beside the point — well, she will always know who she is, will she not?

It certainly was not Kinoa who dug her fingernails to his skin, who shouted his name over and over like some wanton. It was not Kinoa who touched and allowed to be touched, it was not Kinoa who forgot all her inhibitions.

And it was not Kinoa who now crept cowardly away from the scene. It was Tomoyo. It will always be Tomoyo.

Sadly Eriol will never know it. Though he had called her Tomoyo (and how she froze when he did), she doubted if he'd remember that. It was sweet to know he thought of her while making love to other girls, yes, but it also brought a pang of jealousy in her chest, for she can never reveal who she is without jeopardizing her family's position. It was odd, but for that brief moment, it was like Kinoa indeed existed, somewhere inside her...

Or was it because she was thinking if he truly loved her, as she is, or if he loved what she represented — that is to say, the unattainable? Does he look into one's circumstances? Would he love her as this poor Kinoa, maidservant, willing slave of the Minamotos?

She would never know, and if the answer was what she dreaded it to be, she did not want to know. Nonetheless, she did not regret what she did. What they did.

She was so absorbed in her the-midnight-after thoughts that she did not see two pale grey eyes gazing intently at her, and the knowing, almost-mischievous smile on Yue's lips.

---

Eriol awakened with a raging headache. Having too much _sake_ never did him any good.

Then he noticed, for the first time, that he was naked. His eyes drifted across the bed. It was...rumpled. Like someone...or rather, _two_ people wrestled there.

Or worse.

His eyes drifted on, and stopped in the midsection of the bed. He groaned aloud as he saw the unmistakable brown bloodstain there.

_Oh, drat it._ What had he done in his drunken stupor? Whose innocence did he take, for heaven's sake?

He closed his eyes, willing himself to remember. Yet there were only flashes of memories of last night.

Heat. A soft musical voice, chanting his name again and again, almost like a prayer. A soft and warm body.

Lust.

But there was no face. None at all.

Except...yes, he remembered a pair of amethyst eyes...but then that might have been a dream about Kinomoto Tomoyo. Nobody else could have had those eyes.

He put his face on his hands, trying hard to remember. That was when the door of his room opened and revealed Minamoto Yue.

"If you are wondering who it was, Eriol, it was the maidservant Daidouji Kinoa."

"Damn, do you ever knock, Yue-san?"

"I'm sorry," he said, sounding like he did not mean it at all. "But I thought you should know. I saw her creep from here yesterday...that is to say, earlier this morning."

"I — I didn't mean to...to take her...innocence." He felt like a young boy, caught in a compromising situation. Yet he could not place the name Yue uttered. Kinoa? She might as well be a hag, for all he knew. Did she even exist? Or was Yue making her up, like a mere hallucination?

"But surely you'll do her right, will you not, Eriol?"

Eriol's eyes widened. "Y-you cannot expect me to marry her!"

"Oh, but I do," Yue said in a soft voice, eyeing him dangerously. "It is the least you could do to a girl who has served us most perseveringly, most honestly, whom you took advantage of."

"I can't! I...I swore to..." _Damn it all, Yue! You cannot meddle with my life like this!_

As if reading his mind, as if hearing his unspoken, scornful words, Yue frowned at him. "Be honorable for once, Eriol. She will be good for you."

"I was never anything but honorable all my life." He said bitterly. "Damn it, do not tell me what is good for me or not!"

"You will not regret doing this, Eriol," a mysterious smile played in Yue's lips, as if he knew the situation more than Eriol did, thus annoying Eriol more as he lay in bed, hidden beneath the covers, looking small and feeling inferior against his towering foster brother.

He may not be Minamoto by blood, but on other things that mattered, he was a Minamoto. He was a surrogate son of the clan, and Yue was his only brother.

Or so he thinks. But now...why, why in the world was Yue doing this?

"You'll do as I say, or I will do it for you." Yue was no longer smiling, and there was a certain threat in his voice. His expression was stern as he gazed at his brother before he turned and went out of the room.

_Kami-sama, what mess have I gotten into this time?_

A/N: Next chapter is "Momentary Bliss," I think.


	10. Chapter 8: Momentary Bliss

Sweet Deception

Witch-Mistress-Animaru

A/N: Okay, I have to write this out. I know that. I have to. This is a lemon chapter. You have been warned. And forewarned is forearmed.

One more week to go and it is time for hellish classes again. Damn.

Note: I wondered whether I should use crude language. Maybe yes, maybe not, but just watch out, okay?

8: Momentary Bliss

"_Wise men say only fools rush in..._

_But I can't help falling in love with you."_

_- Can't Help Falling In Love, Corey Hart_

"_Love isn't always as you see it..._

_Love isn't always as you dream it should be._

_This is love...coz you're all I'm thinking of."_

_- Same Same, Love Isn't_

Sakura glanced blankly ahead as Syaoran pulled her upstairs, his hand clamped tightly on her wrist that she was certain it will leave its mark on her. He stopped outside his room, opened the door and pulled her in along with him.

She sat down beside the low table and looked away from him, turning her gaze outside the window. Dark clouds have formed overhead. Sakura did not want to admit the frantic thudding of her heart as he strode toward her. She dared not look at him, fearing that he might see her emotions clearly etched in her eyes.

She felt him move closer. She chanced a glance at his face and saw the clear look of frustration on his face. She looked away quickly.

"What in Kami-sama's name is wrong with you?" He lashed out, dropping to his knees to face her. He cupped her face and forced her to look at him.

She didn't answer. She didn't trust herself to.

He groaned in frustration, letting her go.

"So be it, then." He said, standing up. His own stubborn pride refused to let him go groveling at her feet. If she planned on annoying him, then she is doing a great job of it.

He wanted answers to his questions. His mother's words, Amamiya Nadeshiko's words were muddled in his brain. Nadeshiko insisted that she was a nice girl. His own mother asserted that as well. Why can he not see her as that?

How can he break the barriers without resorting to violence, as was the last time?

Then it came to him. He turned back, a rather mischievous grin lighting his face as he gazed at her.

---

She looked up, startled, when he returned. For a brief moment she thought Syaoran will leave her alone. It seems she is mistaken. She nearly gasped, out of breath, upon seeing the grin pasted on his face.

She had remained silent in hopes that he will simply give up. Sadly, she was mistaken.

She was tempted, yes, by what he was offering her. Friendship. Warmth. Love. Everything she never knew, everything she never dreamt to have. Everything only her brother had given her.

Yet she could not, would not take it. She was afraid. She admits as much as that. She feared of the pain in the end, the torment of separation. When the dream ends and she is left alone. She fears the end she anticipates, when she takes the path she chose for herself: Solitude. What when her brother came back? She will join him, certainly, and she must do it wholeheartedly, without doubt, without second thoughts.

She must not waver. She must be careful at all times. Everyday, she reminds herself her reasons why she married Li Syaoran. She had to keep a clear head.

Even now when she realized her mistake; she had no choice but go on with it, for she cannot turn back the hands of time.

For the first time in her life, she was being given the chance of loving and though he might not love her in return, she was contemplating the idea.

She must not let him get too close. She cannot.

However, as he stepped closer toward her, all her resolve dissolved.

"Ah, Sakura," he called her by her given name for the first time, and it sounded like music to her ears. "I may call my wife by her given name, may I not?" His voice was oddly husky, a mere whisper. She could feel her skin crawl as he approached. Closer, closer he went, until he was right in front of her and settled himself down. He inched closer. She could not back away without looking foolish, so she raised her chin to meet his stare. His lips were nearly touching hers, his warm breath fanning her face.

His gaze held hers. She felt herself nodding, though she could not remember what the question was. She just kept gazing on those amber orbs, drowning in them...

"Good." He whispered, smiling down on her. "Now, I wish for us to get better acquainted. A good idea, is it not?"

She backed away at his words, shaking her head. No, she must keep her distance. She bowed her head before she answered, in carefully chosen words, "I do not believe we are in need of that. As we have agreed upon the start of this arrangement, you go your own way and I will go on mine."

"But the situation has...ah, changed, hasn't it?"

"Has it?" She challenged softly. "I fear I do not comprehend what you mean."

"Hypocrite," he whispered through gnashed teeth. "You know it has."

"I do not understand how it has changed," she said, looking up to reveal an oddly blank face and a stiff smile on her lips.

"Don't you?" He asked quietly, his eyes belying the calm of his words. "Then let me make you understand." Without another word, he crushed her to his arms, his lips on hers.

She kept her guard against the invasion of his plundering mouth. It was cruel, the way his tongue invaded her sweetness, and it wasn't hard to not move and remain cold beneath his lips.

Sensing this, however, he changed tactics. His lips and tongue coaxed her to answer. Just when she was about to answer back with fire, he let her go.

"Just how frigid are you, woman?" He asked disgustedly.

That stung her. She stood up and moved away from him.

"What has changed, pray tell me?" She asked tauntingly to hide her shame.

"It seems I was mistaken." He answered, cool as you please. "However, I do remember our original bargain completely." His eyes held hers in a smoldering gaze. "I seem to remember that the bargain _required_ you to couple with me."

"What?" He was satisfied to see that he had shaken her with that crude statement. "There was no such..."

"Wasn't there?" He challenged. "How do you expect to bear me an heir?"

She blushed at that remark. For a moment, the idea seemed wonderful. Children...god, his children. With her. However, it was immediately clouded by her mother's image and that of her father's.

Syaoran saw the emotions flit through her face. There was delight...then regret, sorrow, despair. But they came and went so quickly he was sure it was his imagination.

"Is that all there is to this...this scene of yours? Very well," her voice was cool yet again as her hands started to untie her sash. She would have fooled him if not for her shaking fingers. He had broken in.

"Is this nothing but mere duty to you?" He asked tenderly as he moved forward to stop what she was doing. His hand clamped on hers and raised it to his face. She looked up, startled when his lips touched her skin. "Don't you wish to make it more amiable an affair?"

"Do I have to like it?" She whispered, her voice shaking. His lips trailed from her hands and made its way up to her shoulders as he moved closer. He could feel her skin crawling beneath his touch.

"Certainly not, but it will please me to know you somehow don't repulse the idea of fornicating with me."

"I...I don't repulse you," it came out as a sigh as his lips found a sensitive part of her neck and nibbled there.

"Don't you? I had the idea that you do. You despise me." He whispered in her ear as he licked her sensitive earlobe. She was melting and he knew it.

"I don't —" He cut short her protests with his lips, catching her off-guard. He kissed her with so much gentleness that she just sighed against him, letting him in to revel in the sweetness of her mouth.

His hands began trailing all over her. One hand entered her kimono to cup her breasts while the other started untying the sash which held her robe in place.

Moments later the floral kimono dropped to the floor, forgotten as he carried her naked form to his bed. He removed his clothing as well as quickly as he could before he joined her on the bed.

---

She was drowning...drowning in all the sensations invading her being. She was delirious.

Syaoran's lips were on hers again while his hands roamed all over her body. His right hand was kneading one breast while the other went down on the center of her femininity, playing with her clit as his tongue lashed in and out of her mouth, imitating the sexual act.

Then his lips stopped kissing her as he bent down to suckle her breasts. His fingers tugged at her nipple and clit while he kept on paying homage to her breasts.

She moaned and writhed beneath him, her eyes closed in ecstasy. Then her eyes flew open when she felt his finger enter her,

"S-Syaoran," she was unaware of how she had called him. She felt him smiling against her skin as he kept on slipping his finger in and out of her.

She froze when his lips started to trail down her body and stopped _there_.

"S-Syaoran!" She exclaimed as his lips touched her _there_, sucking and tonguing her until she felt like dying then and there. At the same time, his fingers continued to enter her, rotating and pressing and tweaking until she felt hot liquid escape her.

She was burning with desire by the time he climbed up and kissed her and entered her.

"It's not so bad, is it?" He murmured in her mouth as his member teased her, slowly slipping in until he filled her fully.

The pain was abrupt and she opened her eyes, all thoughts of pleasure forgotten. She would have screamed if Syaoran was not quick to cover her lips with his.

His fingers resumed its movement to ease her discomfort.

They were spiraling up to a zenith of pleasure as he continued to thrust in and out of her.

"Syaoran," she screamed out the same time he shouted her name.

He collapsed on top of her, sweat glimmering on his face as he planted a kiss on her lips.

Then he rolled off her and laid his body beside her, hugging her naked form from behind, kissing her shoulders lightly.

"That wasn't so bad, was it?" He asked teasingly, smiling.

---

Sakura reddened. No, it wasn't bad. It was way beyond her imagination. She could not bring herself to look at him after the heated moments they just shared.

She was glad he chose to lay behind her, so that he may not see her reactions. She did not know what to make of her new experience.

She wanted to weep with her new discovery: She had, by some strange event, started to fall for her husband. Which could mean anything but good. She had no intention of being a slave to her emotion, to her desires.

She can't go on like this...

She felt his fingers stroking her hair gently and her resolve to not weep melted. She wanted to cry. Yet she could not.

"Tell me about you, Kura," he whispered in her ear. No one ever called her that name before. It felt odd to have him call her that.

There was a coaxing quality in his voice that made her answer, no matter how her logic insisted that she keep her distance.

"What is there to tell?" She countered softly. When he didn't say anything, she gave up trying to anger him, and instead chose to tell him what she could. "My father is a merchant. My mother...she was a servant of the household until..." _my father took her as his mistress..._ "...until my father married her. My bro...My cousin, he's almost like my brother. He left us five years ago..."

"You miss him?"

"I..." she paused, before deciding that he can be trusted to some length, after all. "I suppose I do, yes. He's family, after all."

"Tell me about how you grew up."

"It wasn't really easy," she could not tell him the truth without arousing his suspicion and thus telling him the whole truth. She envisioned her sister, the wistful look in her eyes when she saw other children outside the house... "I was kept home at most times, my father was too overprotective. And... And...he won't let me out to play, even."

"Too bad." He said with a gentle smile.

"How...how about you?" She queried, looking away at the window once more. The storm, it seemed, had changed direction and the sun was shining again. She smiled shyly as she turned to face him.

"I didn't know I was bound to be emperor. I lived with my clan, the Taira, all my life until my grandfather came to tell me about his plans." He smiled without humor before continuing. "At that time I was rebellious and I was courting someone else..." his voice trailed off and his smile vanished. She knew then that the magic was broken and they were strangers once more.

He stood up abruptly, but instead of walking out of the room, he offered her his hand.

"Come," he said with a smile. "Let's go."

"Where?" She asked, accepting his hand. He helped her in to her kimono, occasionally stealing kisses and caresses, but nothing more.

"We have a lot to catch up on." He had finished tying his own clothing in place as he pulled her along, laughing.

Against her better judgment, she smiled and took what was offered.

Maybe there were happy endings after all, she thought as they laughed, carefree and enjoying each other's company.

---

Touya saw his sister walking out of the castle, hand in hand with her husband. Both were glowing with happiness that his heart ached.

How his sister must have yearned for this...

And now he was torn between duty to the Minamotos and seeing his sister happier than ever.

Perhaps he can persuade her to stop this craziness. Perhaps.

If he couldn't, he'll just abandon the plans he made for them.

One thing was certain: his sister needed him now, more than ever...

TBC


	11. Chapter 9: Her Realizations

Sweet Deception

Witch-Mistress-Animaru

A/N: I should be writing the editorial and the article now. I just can't bring myself to do so. I still need sufficient information for them. God, why does summer come with laziness and sloth? It must be the heat…

This is the only chapter which I have typed directly, without a handwritten counterpart, aided by several musical pieces.

9: Her realizations

_In the words of a broken heart_

_It's just emotion that's taking me over,_

_Tied up in sorrow, lost in my song…_

_-Emotion, Samantha Sang_

_It's a heartache, nothing but a heartache._

_-Bonnie Tyler_

_Just take my heart when you go_

_I don't have a need for it anymore_

_I'll always love you, but you're too hard to hold_

_So just take my heart when you go._

_-Just Take My Heart, Mr. Big_

_How do you cool your lips after a summer's kiss?_

…_I could use some advice on how to be insensitive. _

_-Insensitive, Jann Arden_

This had to be happiness, Sakura contemplated as she walked silently beside Li Syaoran, their hands entwined as they toured the castle grounds.

She knew it was foolish, this hope that sprang somewhere inside her heart. She cannot comprehend why, but her heart felt like it would jump out of her chest every time she looked at her husband, and she would feel a light, heady feeling envelope her.

Was it possible, after all, to have her happy ending with the emperor's grandson, the heir to Nippon's legacy?

"Tell me more about your family," he would say, and she would answer, careful to leave out the truths she had learned on her unruly existence in the Kinomoto household.

In turn, Syaoran had given her stories of his own youth—happier than her childhood ever was, which was tainted with lies, deceit and her father's grand and ambitious plans.

She learned that he was not born a prince, nor was he a royal heir for that matter.

Until his grandfather chose him over another cousin of his, Li Mamoru.

Was it her imagination, or did Syaoran's eyes narrow as he spoke of his cousin Li Mamoru, who, she found out, was living in the palace as well? They must have met, but Sakura cannot remember his face at all.

Now she noticed that Syaoran was leading them towards the greenery, the forestry of the castle grounds.

"Where are we headed?" She asked softly, daring not to argue.

"In here," he answered and pulled her with him towards what turned out to be marble pieces and a fountainhead. Syaoran sat down and pulled her towards him, kissing her lightly as she settled down on his lap.

"Syaoran…" she murmured in his mouth, very nearly swooning in his arms as he continued kissing her and trailing soft caresses underneath her kimono.

Then they heard a soft gasp, a rustling of leaves, and both of them froze.

A black-haired woman was standing in the clearing, and her hands were covering the face of a young boy beside her. Sakura's face turned pink as she stood and bowed at the woman.

"I…did not know you would be here, Xiao Lang," she said in a voice full of hurt and emotion. Syaoran stood up so quickly he very nearly knocked Sakura to the ground. He approached the woman and held her by the wrist when she tried to run away.

"Meilin-san, I am very sorry that you have caught us in a very compromising situation. We apologize for the distress we have caused you and Hadoru-kun," he said all this very fast, his guilt at being found out in the throes of passion with his _wife_ clearly etched on his face.

Sakura's face remained devoid of emotion, her mind had gone blank and numb, and until what she was seeing registered on her brain were she able to move lithely towards the pair.

_They look like a happy family,_ she thought wildly as she gazed at them unblinkingly.

"Meilin-san…I want you to meet the Lady Kinomoto Sakura no Li, my wife," he said, and the pain in his eyes was so great, Sakura could not trust herself to speak without her voice breaking. For suddenly she knew just how much this woman meant to Li Syaoran and the pain was tearing her apart. "Sakura, this is the Lady Li Meilin, my cousin Mamoru's wife…and this is their little son, Hadoru-kun." Now Sakura knew that she had not imagined Syaoran's sharp gaze as he mentioned Li Mamoru. Now she knew where his bitterness had stemmed from.

As the heir to the empire, Syaoran could not freely marry this woman, and the bitter Li Mamoru who must have begrudged his grandfather's choice of heir had taken his revenge on his cousin by marrying Meilin Li.

And where does that leave her, the lovely pawn of her father in this game of power?

Suddenly she was so sick of the game. She was nothing but the illegitimate daughter of her father, and she did nothing, _nothing _to deserve this pain she was feeling…

…except that she had agreed to this foolishness.

Yes, it was foolishness, she admitted freely now.

It was foolish to believe what she did.

And once more, the cold mask settled over Kinomoto Sakura's face, veiling the emotional turmoil she was experiencing.

While her heart hardened in its resolve once more to never fall in love with anyone, let alone her husband.

-0-0-0-

This was the second time she had walked in on the two, but the pain of seeing Syaoran happy with someone else was tearing Meilin apart.

She could not believe that such pain existed, that it could twist her in knots.

Looking at the two, she knew she had no right to feel this resentment towards this beautiful woman beside him now. After all, she had no claim on his heart, being married to Li Mamoru as she was.

Yet as she gazed at the coolly composed face of Li Sakura, she could not help but feel hatred. How can she remain cold while Syaoran was obviously in distress? Her green eyes were filled with bored disdain, she noted as Li Sakura nodded towards her, as if dismissing their presence.

"My lord, I wish to retire to my chamber. If you will excuse me," her voice was cold, almost aloof, and Meilin could not imagine how she could have drawn Syaoran to her, let alone enticed him to touch her.

Syaoran did not contradict her, yet she could see his eyes narrowing as he followed his retreating wife with his gaze.

He does not know it yet, but it seems he was already feeling something for her, even though Meilin did not understand why.

And the pain was taking her very breath away.

--

Syaoran heard it rather than saw it—the return of the barriers between him and his wife. He heard it in her cold, high voice, and he felt it in her suddenly indifferent demeanor.

The mask was back, and he was unsure if he wanted it to be.

He felt Meilin's pain in that one gasp and he could not help but feel guilty when she had caught him sharing intimacies with Sakura.

Yet he could not deny it: he was also attracted to Sakura, in those moments when her guard was down and she was not being obstinate and cold. He was certain, however, that it was Li Meilin who held his heart—the one who, he thought, will always hold it.

"Gomenasai," he whispered softly. "You should not have seen that."

"But there is nothing wrong with…with that, is there? After all, she is your wife, Xiao Lang."

He laughed rather harshly at Meilin's pronouncement.

"You know as well as I do about the circumstances surrounding our marriage."

"Yes…and I know…it is your duty…to provide Nippon with an heir."

"Yes, it is a duty…and a nuisance, at that," he spoke it yet he did not believe it—and by the looks of it, neither did Meilin.

But those words drove through Sakura like a knife, squeezing through her heart.

She heard it clearly enough—his duty to the imperial throne was a nuisance.

She was a nuisance. A useless piece of baggage dumped unceremoniously on his lap by her ambitious father—that was what she was.

Nothing more.

Well, she thought sarcastically, she will not be so any longer.

She should have stuck to the original plan, she thought as she walked as quickly as she could back towards the castle.

Now, nothing would stop her from executing her plan, even if it would cost her very heart and life.

--

Touya's heart broke as he saw Sakura approaching the castle. He stood by the doorway, his face hidden well by a cloak while he awaited her return.

He knew Sakura very well, and he knew that beneath that cold and hard façade, the real Sakura lay vulnerable, desperate for even the slightest affection that their mother and her father had been unable to provide. Disillusionment must have hit her, and hard.

Touya knew better than to fuel the resentment she felt, the anger and fury that broke everything gentle inside her. She did have a tendency to be reckless, and nothing came good out of recklessness.

No, her temper must simmer down. Yet he doubted that she would change her resolve even after.

Yet it must be for the better, he thought. These royalties bring nothing but trouble. It may be best for him and Sakura to disassociate with them.

But as he saw Sakura's face, he felt helpless.

He was afraid that Sakura has been hurt beyond what he already expected—it was not only a bruised pride, not only her self-esteem.

Touya feared that someone got close enough to bruise Sakura's heart.

He stilled when Sakura approached, and he called her name.

--

"Sakura," she stopped on her tracks upon hearing that voice. She will never forget that voice—her brother's.

"What are you doing here?" She asked as she approached him and she could not help the panicked tone creeping on her voice.

"I'm here to protect you, of course. Are you well, Sakura?" He asked, his tone brotherly that she nearly broke down and cried in his arms, losing all composure she regained as she walked away from Syaoran earlier.

"I…of course I am well. If you should worry about anyone, it should be you, oniichan," she said frantically, not knowing and refusing to contemplate what may happen once he is discovered.

"Sakura…do you still wish to remain here, unsafe?"

"I…" before Sakura could answer, Syaoran was already striding towards her and Touya stepped away from her, towards the shadows, cursing at the man who, he knew, was the source of Sakura's distress and heartache.

"Sakura," Syaoran called, and Touya saw his sister take a few deep breaths before turning to face her husband like he was some sort of adversary to her.

"What is it?" Even Touya winced from the coldness in her voice, but Syaoran continued to stare at her, and he looked a bit furious.

"What is this about?"

"I should be the one asking you that. You called me, did you not?"

"No. That is not what I meant. Damn it, why do you always become like this?"

"I do not comprehend you."

"Neither do I comprehend you, for that matter."

"Then we have nothing left to say to each other, my lord," and she brushed past her husband. But the man had clamped his hand on her wrist.

Yet contrary to what she usually did, Sakura pulled her hand away and Syaoran, taken by surprise, had let her go.

It was just as well, for Sakura's tears threatened to fall.

She could not, she would not admit it, but she had already begun falling for her husband.

And she could not bring herself to accept that he was never hers to begin with.

And despite knowing that he could never be hers, her heart had already chosen to never follow its owner.

--

Minamoto Eriol spent the better part of the day getting drunk, it hardly surprised him that, upon waking up, his head was aching so badly he wanted nothing but to go back to sleep again.

He still could not believe that he is married—and to a foundling of a girl he could not even remember the face that goes with her name—Daidouji Kinoa.

Wait, her name was not even Nippon in origin. And right after they were wed, he stalked off, leaving Yue to go and comfort his bride.

He wanted to drown in sorrow, drown helplessly, for he cannot go on living this farce of a marriage. Not with the knowledge that true love awaits him on the other side of the enemy lines.

"Ouch," he groaned, holding his head before dropping back to the bed.

He didn't see a pair of violet eyes watching him from afar, full of tears as she muffled her cries before she turned away from him.

Kinomoto Tomoyo had the protection of the Minamoto name as Daidouji Kinoa, all right. But how she had lost Eriol's heart in the process pains her beyond bearing…

TBC


	12. Chapter 10: The Beginning of an End

Sweet Deception

Witch-Mistress-Animaru

A/N: The primary reason that I am updating Sweet Deception is the rather depressing manga I am reading right now. Up close, its male protagonist is rather like the Syaoran in my story Gangster's Paradise, but…ah, the angst. The angst is too much; I had to write another sadder chapter for this fic.

And the manga? It's _Haou Airen, _shoujo manga for a more mature audience. T_T

Anyway, to recall the timeline of Japanese history, Taira Kiyomori names his grandson (a child in actuality) Taira Antoku as emperor in 1180. Shortly thereafter is the five-year Gempei war won by the Minamotos. The start of the Shogun era, I think.

I have no idea how the throne passes on, so I just concocted my own ceremony.

10: Beginning of an end

"…_Things don't stop and the others announced they're moving on_

_Salt & tears in the minds, in the mouths of a bad decision_

_Too late for another mistake, it's bringing me down._

_All in all it's just another day now_

_You're falling down_

_What you gonna do?"_

_- All in all, Lifehouse_

It was four weeks thus after the embarrassing scene between Li Syaoran, his wife Sakura and Lady Meilin.

Nothing appeared to have changed. Both man and wife remained civil with each other, polite and almost distant.

It was as if those heated moments they shared never happened.

Sakura busied herself with reading the chronicles archived at the castle, fascinated by every one of them. Having served her family all her life, she never had the time for leisure. Everything had been about anyone else: her aunt, her cousin, her brother, her father…even her mother, now that she thought of it.

There wasn't any time left for her.

But no more, she thought. She would serve them no more. She had enough of taking orders, enough of thinking of anyone but herself.

And the hurt, yes, the hurt…she would have to forget the hurt. She must go on, a strong woman, with no one the wiser to her pains and fears.

She miscalculated, she admitted as much. But she would not do so anymore. After all, she could not afford mistakes…

So absorbed she was on her thoughts, she hardly noticed that she had not progressed on the book she was reading, that she remained unable to turn a single page. Tears blurred her vision as memories swirled through her hazy mind.

A yearning, a wish…was happiness too much to hope for?

She thought, these past days…she was almost…almost…

_Ah, but it does not matter anymore, does it?_ The voice within her mind taunted her.

It does not matter that her husband—whom she married because of his position—turned out to love someone else. To care for someone else. After all, had they not reached an agreement, had they not said they will not bother each other anymore than they should?

But if it doesn't matter a whit to her, why won't her tears stop falling?

**From **the shadows, Touya watched helplessly as his sister fell apart, knowing he could have prevented it, if only he arrived sooner…

And now, was it too late, too late for them both?

---

"A ceremony?"

"Yes. The crown will be passed on to you and your wife, Xiao Lang."

"This…this farce will…carry on?"

"I do not understand. Did you not agree…?"

"I do not comprehend her. Nor do I wish to…anymore."

"You need to make this work," his grandfather replied sharply. "Do not fail me, Xiao Lang. When the moon reaches its full cycle, I shall hand over the ascendancy to you."

"What of Mamoru…why can't Mamoru have the crown?"

"Because he is not you," was the terse reply. Taira Kiyomori stood up, leaving Syaoran alone to contemplate his words.

_Because he is not you._

_Because he is not you._

Maybe at some point, Kiyomori did love him.

If only his grandfather loved him more than he does the crown…he would have been happy now, not trapped in a farce of a marriage with a woman he could not even begin to understand.

---

"My lady," Naoko Yanagisawa's voice permeated her thoughts, causing Sakura to start.

"What is it?"

"The moon is full tonight."

"Yes, I noted," she replied absently.

"Then, the time has come?"

"Which time?" She asked, frowning.

"The passing of the crown. Taira Kiyomori is making your husband emperor. That makes you the empress, Lady Sakura."

"Is…is that so?" She said faintly.

Everything she ever wanted and more. All within a few hours' reach.

Yet, why is that void growing bigger within her? She could not understand it…

"Are you all right, mistress?" Naoko's voice sounded concerned. Only then did she notice that she was clutching at her chest.

"Y-yes, I am. That will be all for now, Naoko-san. I wish to be alone."

"I-if you are sure, then, I shall take my leave now."

"Do that. Arigatou gozaimasu, Naoko-san."

The door closed shut and she breathed a heavy sigh.

"What's wrong? Isn't this what you wanted?" A sharp voice startled her from behind. She turned to see Touya emerge from the shadows.

"Oniichan, why…are you here? If someone found you—!"

Touya smiled briefly—a smile which did not reach his eyes.

"Now, you're beginning to sound more like my sister and less of that horrible woman you've concocted."

Sakura's spine went rigid at her brother's criticism. "What if…that woman…that horrible woman, is really who I am now?"

"You are not," he said softly, approaching her slowly. He cupped her face in his hand. "You are anything but cold and heartless. You…"

"Please, oniichan…"

"If this is what you want, I will not have stood in your way. If you were not in danger…but that is not the case, Sakura."

"But this is what I want, oniichan!"

"Is it? Then why are you not happy?"

"I am…I am…" She stood still for a moment. Touya thought she was mad.

And then, he saw them. The tears.

"Sakura," he whispered, hugging her gently. "Please don't cry …"

"I do not understand myself," she cried. "It's true…this is all I wanted…even more. But I feel nothing but pain here," she pointed at her heart, tears staining her kohl-painted cheeks. "And it hurts…it hurts badly…oniichan…"

"My little sister…" Touya whispered. "It's not too late, you know…You can still come with me. The offer stands. While you are not yet the empress. While you are only royalty by affinity. We can still change it…we can be family again."

"But…you make it sound so easy, oniichan…But, it is not…"

"It's that brat, isn't it? He hurt you badly. But he will not do so anymore if you leave, so come with me!"

"I…he…" She tried to deny it, but she knew it was useless. _I cannot say yes, but I cannot entirely refuse either. Anything…for this pain…to go away…_ "I will think about it."

"Hurry up deciding then. We have barely enough time left." With that, Touya turned away from her before jumping out the window.

---

The moon was incredibly bright that night, the sky cloudless, like velvet strewn over the horizon.

The imperial princess looked exceptionally beautiful, despite the pallor of her features. Meanwhile, Li Xiao Lang, soon to be Taira Kiyomori's successor to the throne, remained oddly impassive as he led his wife to the foyer.

"Let go," Sakura whispered suddenly, stopping at the center of the aisle.

"What?"

"Would you kindly get your hands off of me? I can manage on my own."

Syaoran schooled his features, hiding his displeasure at this display of rebellion. "As you wish, my lady," he let go of her elbow and stepped away with a bow. _We will discuss this later._

At last, they reached the end of the aisle, marking the beginning of the ceremony.

"I gather you here at Heian for a monumental decision I have taken," Taira Kiyomori said. "The time has come for Nippon to come and welcome its new leader. Kami-sama has chosen my grandson, Li Xiao Lang, to take on the task and lead our empire to success. And he shall do so, with such a wonderful lady beside him," he beamed at Sakura before he stepped away from the scene. Applause punctuated his words. Soon, the royal scepter and crowns were brought forward and adorned to the newly crowned emperor and empress.

Touya clenched his fists as the crowd rejoiced. From the distance, he could see the discomfort etched in his sister's face. It cannot be any clearer that this was not her world, and never will it be. _Soon,_ he vowed. Soon he will take her away from all this pain.

---

Sakura wanted to leave. The hall was full of people; she could hardly breathe. Her face was stiff with trying to maintain that blank, fancy smile pasted on her lips. Her husband had disappeared long before, and thus, she was left alone to face the roaring crowd.

_Is this what I really wanted? How come I feel tired? I do not feel anything at all…Maybe it is good…better be numb than be in pain…_

"You have done well. I don't think even Tomoyo could have put up a better display for tonight," someone said from behind her.

She knew that voice. She could not be mistaken.

It was her father.

"You," she gasped as she turned, losing her composure momentarily. For the briefest of seconds, the great hall disappeared and she was young again, trapped inside their house in Heian-kyo, helpless as this man made her mother cry.

"Is that the way to greet the man who fathered you?" He asked, his eyes glinting.

"You have never been my father," she whispered, fighting for control as she turned and walked away from Fujitaka. As she had hoped, the raucous crowd soon separated them and she retreated to the shadows without anyone noticing.

What was he doing here? He came to watch the ceremony, no doubt. But why approach her? They were never close…

Only when her nails bit to her palm did she see that her hands were clenched tightly. She looked around her to ensure that no one has noted her absence before she turned away from the hall, running as if the very devil was after her.

She was running so quickly she bumped onto a man. With panic overtaking her, she merely walked past him with a distressed "Gomenasai" and continued her way to the room.

Soon she reached her room and shut herself inside. Legs weak, she slid to the floor, tears streaming down her face.

---

Several minutes had passed, yet Syaoran remained rooted in the place where Sakura bumped onto him. He was trying to escape the crowd inside when she came; the heat was making his head fuzzy.

It was the first time he had ever seen his wife so distressed. The cool mask she wore was gone; instead, tears streamed down her cheeks. She did not even see him, apologizing in a harried manner before running again.

Like it or not, his wife aroused his curiosity again. _When I thought I would never try and understand you, you puzzle me yet again… When will I ever figure you out?_

Why did she weep like she did? For someone with as much control as Sakura, something—or someone—must have unnerved her so.

Who was the woman he married?

She was, indeed, a puzzle. And he liked solving puzzles.

"Xiao Lang," a soft voice called behind him. He turned and saw Meilin hovering at the doorway.

"My lady," he said with a bow, all thoughts of his wife forgotten. "How may I be of service?"

"I only wished to congratulate you… Xiao Lang-sama."

"I…thank you, Meilin-san. But you need not be so formal with me, we're practically family."

She smiled faintly. "You have done well tonight. You two…seem perfect together."

"Appearances can be deceiving," he said dryly.

"Anyway, now that I have conveyed you my congratulations, I shall take my leave." When she turned to leave, Syaoran's body moved in its own accord and he pulled her hand.

"Wait. Please, Meilin. Let me…"

Behind them, somebody coughed. They turned, albeit guiltily.

"Excuse me, Xiao Lang-sama, Meilin-sama," the man who stood before them turned accusing steel grey eyes on them.

How dare this man—? How can a mere servant talk back to the emperor himself?

"You are blocking the doorway," he said simply. Syaoran's eyes widened before Meilin's hand slipped away from his.

"Damn," he swore, stalking away from the interfering man.

Li Xiao Lang was long gone, but the man remained where he stood.

"Damned cocky, that gaki…if he broke Sakura's heart again, I'll break his neck," he whispered malevolently before turning away.

---

"The Taira clan has elected a new emperor, I heard." Minamoto Yue spoke softly as he regarded his brother across the table.

"Hmm," was Eriol's only response, his gaze oddly blank and faraway.

"You're distracted," he stated in annoyance, setting down his cup with more force than necessary.

"Huh? Gomen, Yue-san, only there are…"

"Where's your wife?"

"Huh?"

"Where's—your—wife?" He asked again, punctuating every word he said.

"Oh. I don't know, and frankly, I couldn't care less. It's not like I…"

"Find her, and find her fast." Yue knew that he was being callous, but this may be the only chance for their clan.

"Why?"

"She is essential to the plan."

"I…I don't get what you mean."

"One hears rumors about Heian-kyo, you know. Tell me, what does the Fujiwara girl look like?"

"The…oh, you mean Kinomoto's daughter. What has that anything to do with my wife?" When Yue merely shrugged, Eriol straightened in his seat. "She had creamy complexion, hair black as night…and her eyes, her violet eyes…"

"I heard that the new empress has _auburn_ hair and clear _green_ eyes."

"B…But that can't be! I went there, remember? I saw her myself…unless…"

"Kinomoto has another daughter?"

TBC


	13. Chapter 11: Paradise Lost

Sweet Deception

Witch-Mistress-Animaru

A/N: I need to keep dark thoughts away. Because honestly, if or when _that_ time comes, I doubt I can act in accordance with my principles. I wish I could; I badly wish I could. But I admit that I can be a coward when it comes to tough decisions…

On a lighter note, I decided I'd finish this fic first before moving on to other stories. So, yay for the followers of this fic! :)

P.S. I kinda speeded things up a bit.

11: Paradise lost

"_We say goodbye lost heaven;_

_How we longed for heaven;_

_We're letting go of something we never had_

_Time goes so fast, heaven is lost."_

- Lost Heaven, L'arc~en~ciel

"She is Touya-san's sister, I am sure of it," Minamoto Yue stated in his soft, quiet voice.

"What? Who is the sister of whom?" Eriol replied, looking confused.

"The new empress is Touya's sister. The illegitimate daughter of Fujiwara Fujitaka, it seems."

"But…what happened to the legitimate one?" Eriol's voice was laced with worry, wondering what ill fate could have befallen his beloved.

"Don't you know?" Yue said with a laugh, his eyes flashing mysteriously. "Then I will not enlighten you. However, this complicates matters." He stood up, his voice serious once more. "I do know that Touya will not betray us, but his sister is another matter. I do not know if she could have swayed him…or if he has convinced her to side with us. Either way, it will make things more difficult for us."

"Then…what are we to do?"

"We must move, and quickly. We will have to seize the palace at Heian."

"And what of Touya-san and his sister?"

"It all depends to their…shall we say, loyalty. Touya is safe, but if his sister is not amenable, and he defends her…" Yue shrugged dismissively. "Then it must be done, no matter how loathe we are to do so. They must be killed."

---

Tomoyo could not believe her ears. Her knees were shaking badly as she held on to the door for support.

She did not mean to overhear their conversation. But somehow, she was glad she did. Now she was no longer in the dark; she could use her position to her advantage.

_Kami-sama, what have I done?_ She cried silently. Had she known…the fate that awaited them both, she would have accepted her father's decision to wed the Taira clan's heir.

The sound of footsteps coming towards her direction caused her heart to skip a beat. She quickly hid herself in the shadowy side of the corridors, hoping that she will not be found out.

Her husband…no, _Daidouji Kinoa_'s husband emerged from the room. He paused for only a moment walked away from her, much to her relief. Only then did she breathe properly.

She had been so selfish, she realized now. She thought that once she was in Minamoto territory, she will have the happy ending she always dreamt of. However, her relationship to Minamoto Eriol was anything but happy. And now, her dearest sister was in danger. All because of her.

But she would not let them do it. She would have to do something.

Gathering her courage and wits about her, she stepped forward and entered the room that Eriol just left. As she expected, Yue was still inside.

Waiting for her.

"It's just about time that you came," Yue greeted softly, regarding her with his cold silvery eyes.

"Yes," she replied, her voice shaking. "I overheard your conversation. I suppose you knew who I was all along?"

"Not at the beginning. But then, I soon received news from Heian…and it was easy to figure out, what with your unusual eyes…Kinomoto Tomoyo."

"Are you…going to kill them?"

"Why shouldn't I?"

"I beg you, please don't," she whispered, dropping to her knees.

Yue seemed taken aback. "What are you doing? Stand up."

"Please, don't do this. I'm the one to blame. I ran away, escaped my duty. If you are going to kill anyone, please let it be me, not Sakura."

When silence met her words, Tomoyo lifted her face and saw Yue regarding her closely.

"I do not kill my own kin," he said tersely. "Quit groveling," it was clear that he was uncomfortable with what she was doing.

"But I am not your kin. I am not Daidouji Kinoa. I did not…"

"For all intents and purposes, you are married to my brother…_baka _as he is though, it is a wonder you have not left him yet."

"I…do not blame him. I forced his hand."

"No, you did not. I did."

"What…do you mean?"

"I wanted you to come to me, for I have a proposition for you."

"P…proposition?"

"Yes," he said smoothly. "Let's just say…a bargain."

"What is it? I will do anything for you to spare my sister's life…and of course, Touya-san's. He was very kind to us both."

"Very well. I shall grant your request…if you agree to support us."

"Nani?" Tomoyo asked, frowning in confusion.

"I am sure you know that your father rejected our offer of an alliance. Therefore, I am asking you, Kinomoto Tomoyo, to take on our offer, for we need it before we lay our claim to the palace of Heian."

"I don't understand. Why is my support of any import? With your power, you can seize all political power the Taira clan holds."

"You don't understand. We need the blood of a Fujiwara infused in our line in order to hold the emperor's post. Once you agree, we will circulate the truth—that the new empress is an impostor, and the real Fujiwara princess is Eriol's wife."

"But…"

"I don't think I made it clear. You do not have a choice. If you refuse, I can easily dispose of you…I will no longer have any use for you."

"I…see…" tears threatened to fall from her eyes. "Then, Minamoto Yue-san… I give you my alliance and support. In turn, I expect you to keep my sister and Touya-san safe."

"Agreed," Yue replied, a triumphant smile playing on his lips.

**Long **after Tomoyo had gone, Yue stood inside the same room, looking over the horizon.

"So…it all begins now," he whispered, turning abruptly from his musings. He strode out of the room, barking his orders.

"Eriol, prepare for battle! Alert the soldiers and guards! We are going to lay siege on Heian!"

---

Sakura knew that her brother was growing impatient. Days had passed since their conversation, and still, she has not come to a decision.

_What is holding me back?_ She wondered. Being an empress did not suit her at all. After all, it appears as if her relationship with her husband is beyond repair. They barely conversed; much less saw each other except during meals.

She stood up and walked towards the window, her thoughts wandering. She did not know what to do. Her encounter with her father still unnerved her; the thought that she was doing what he had planned gnawed at her insides.

Her thoughts were cut off immediately when her eyes strayed to the garden, for her husband and Li Meilin were there. Syaoran was hugging the latter, as if comforting her.

The flash of pain that she felt was so great that for a moment, she could not breathe. She was surprised at her own reaction to the scene; it was not as if she cared…or did she really care?

Dear _kami,_ she was afraid to know the answer. For it may very well be what was holding her back…

Too late, she realized that tears were falling down her face. She quickly turned away before the two could look up and see her.

_When will it stop? Kami-sama, when will the pain stop?_

She knew, then and there, that she could no longer deny the truth. She was beginning to care for her husband, perhaps even more so. And the fact that he feels for someone else pains her so.

_Boom._

She started when she heard the resounding crash. Wildly, she looked around her, dashing towards the window once more to see what has happened.

Then she saw them. The soldiers. Minamoto soldiers were advancing towards the palace.

_What is happening?_ In her panicking mind, Sakura did not know what to do. Without thinking, she raced down the stairs toward the grounds.

"Sakura-sama, it is not safe!" Naoko stopped her before she could open the barred entrance of the palace.

"We will be trapped here!"

"No, we will not," Syaoran emerged from the shadows. _How did he get inside?_ Sakura wondered. "We will fight them."

She could see Meilin standing beside him. Pain squeezed at Sakura's heart as she looked away from them.

"We have but minutes left. They caught us off-guard. We need reinforcements."

"I would do it," a voice said, and Li Mamoru appeared at the foyer. "It is my chance to prove my worth to grandfather…not only as a warrior, but also a leader."

"Mamoru…" Syaoran clenched his fists. "Do not be so rash."

"Let me do this." He said. "I will prove him wrong." Pulling out his katana, Li Mamoru stepped out of the palace, a throng of soldiers following him.

---

_Shit. There's hardly enough time left._ Touya swore again in his mind, wondering how he could whisk Sakura away without gaining attention on himself.

He did not know what to do. Yue and Eriol were outside…he should be joining their ranks soon. But he was not certain how…he was too worried about Sakura. He had no idea what the Minamotos will do now.

Fierce battle cries resounded outside. Yet Touya expected they would win. He almost pitied the foolish man who might end up sacrificing himself.

He heard the leader of the Taira fall, but the palace soldiers were sent as reinforcements. He must act quickly to aid the leaders of the Minamoto clan.

With the whole Taira household in thrall, Touya managed to snatch his sister quietly to the shadows.

"Oniichan," she whispered, her eyes wild with fear. "You frightened me."

"We must go. Now. Yue-sama and Eriol-sama are waiting for me to join their ranks."

"I…I…I don't think…"

"This is not the time to hesitate! Power may well change hands soon!"

"I understand that…but…but…"

Their conversation was cut short by a distinct voice.

"It was too easy," he heard Yue's distinctly soft voice. "Now we take the palace."

"No, you will not." Syaoran said harshly, drawing out his katana. "I will not allow you to do so."

"Ah, you are the emperor, are you not? A pity. I will have to kill you." Yue drew out his sword as well. Both raised their swords in battle, but before either can strike at the other, Sakura drew away from her brother and rushed toward the battling pair.

"Yamero!"

Both stood frozen as they looked at her, suddenly standing between them.

"And who, pray tell, might you be?" Yue asked, lowering his sword. Once he caught the color of her eyes, his eyes glittered knowingly. "Ah, don't answer. Of course. You are the empress."

"What are you doing here?" Syaoran spat out. "You should have left at once."

"So that's how it is. How…unfortunate. This is…goodbye, then, to you both."

"No, Yue-sama," Touya said firmly, emerging from the Taira crowd. Whispers grew from the slowly retreating crowd as he walked towards the Minamotos.

"What the…a spy?"

"You!" Lady Meilin Li said with horror, recognizing his eyes from before. "You're a spy!"

He merely nodded in acknowledgement.

"Touya." Yue lowered his sword. "You dare order me?"

"I…it is not my place to do so, yes. But…"

"Say no more. Things as they are, I cannot touch you both."

"What?"

"I have made a promise. A bargain…with someone, that I will spare your lives."

"But…who?"

"Yue-san," Eriol walked forward. "The palace soldiers are pouring in. We must retreat."

"What a waste," he said shortly. "All that effort and for naught. This is not the end of our siege, Li Syaoran."

"I do not expect it to be."

"We need to retreat. Touya, you are no longer needed here."

"But…" He looked uncertainly at Sakura, but Yue shook his head.

"We must go. It'll be suicide if you stay. They will kill you."

Touya was left with no choice but to follow.

"Empress…" Yue said. "I have a proposition for you." He moved swiftly that hardly anyone could have predicted his move. He snatched her towards him and whispered.

"Come and join us. Your sister and brother await you. Your brother will come for you soon—you should have decided by then," he let go and started to dash away, even before the soldiers could move. The other Minamotos began to do the same, leaving the Taira in their wake, too stunned to chase after the retreating rebels.

_Brother…and sister? It can't be!_

TBC


	14. Chapter 12: Choices

Sweet Deception

Witch-Mistress-Animaru

A/N: Psyching up…to write the next chapter.

P.S. Visit my blogs!  Links are at my profile. LOL. Read, especially, my post on TRC. Ha-ha.

P.P.S. This is promising to be my longest chapter yet.

12: Choices

_Am I strong enough to walk on water?_

_Smart enough to come in out of the rain?_

_Or am I fool…going where the wind blows?_

- Mr. Big, Going Where the Wind Blows

_I don't think you notice when I can't reach out_

_I guess you're waiting on somebody else again_

_Oh so much for talking; it's all been said before_

_I'm hearing something but I wish you'd just say more_

_But you're going off again when I try to just hold on…_

_But you're going off so_

_Don't tell me how to be, coz I like some suffering…_

- Vertical Horizon, Finding Me

Heian-kyo was in chaos. The sudden attack of the rebels shook the Imperial Palace. Taira Kiyomori, Syaoran's grandfather, stationed reinforcements in the palace grounds.

And amidst the current dishevel, the newly crowned empress was under interrogation, with suspicions of spy activity for the rebels.

"What did that man tell you?" Sakura diverted her eyes from the accusing stare of the inquisitor. She could not answer, not without revealing the secret of her family. Not without revealing that the spy was her brother.

"Answer!" Taira Kiyomori shouted from the shadows, clearly agitated. "Was he passing on relevant information? How your father has fooled me! All along he was working with those… those rebels!"

"I…do not know what you are talking about."

"Who was that man? Answer me! I have not seen him before…"

"I do not know him," that, at least, was an honest reply, for she knew not the name of the man who whispered the most disturbing news to her. If he were to be believed, he not only had her brother at his side, but her Tomoyo-neechan as well.

She knew that her sister indeed intended to go to the Minamoto clan. Yet she was unprepared to accept that she alone remained in the side of the Taira clan.

Or was it the fact that she was silently wishing that this dream would not end? Was she willing to endure, despite the dangers and the fears? It made no sense to her.

"Ha! Lies…you dare lie to me, woman?" Kiyomori approached her, murder in his eyes as he raised his palm.

"Enough," another voice emanated from the doorway of that enclosed room and Syaoran entered the foyer. "Grandfather, I do not understand why you are doing this. You have questioned her yesterday, and she already said she did not know the man."

"And you believe her? This lying piece of baggage dumped by Kinomoto Fujitaka on us?"

"You forget you were the one who chose her to become my wife. And please do not resort to violence; it will only incriminate us further." Syaoran waved dismissively at the inquisitor, who could do nothing as the emperor stepped forward and took Sakura's hand before heading out the door.

"Xiao Lang!"

"I am sorry, grandfather, but perhaps it is better if I took over."

"Are you all right?" Syaoran asked once they reached her room. She nodded mutely, not trusting to speak. "I apologize for grandfather's actions. It was uncalled for."

"You…you don't think I'm a spy?" She blurted without thinking. And yet, he knew about her brother…

"I don't think you can do it, even though you are related to that man. You said you'd try to convince him to join our side, but perhaps his loyalty is truly to the Minamoto clan. They're lucky to have him."

"Then…you are not mad at me?"

"Of course I am not. I am sure you did not know they were going to attack."

"Why…are you doing this?" She whispered.

"What did you say?" He asked, perplexed.

"Why are you being kind to me? We did not one to marry each other. So…why, why do you trust me so much?"

"I…don't know," he replied. "But I…think I am beginning to understand you."

"I…thank you, for protecting me from your grandfather."

"It was nothing. He shouldn't have tried to hurt you."

"It wouldn't have been anything new to me…" she whispered absentmindedly, remembering the few times her father did notice her and hurt her.

"What do you mean? Did your father lift a hand to you?"

"It hardly signifies, does it?" She turned away from him, suddenly exhausted. "I wish to retire now. Thank you for your help."

Syaoran stared at her for a full minute, studying her expression. Then he sighed. "Your defenses are up again. Very well, if you wish to retire, I shall take my leave."

Long after Syaoran was gone, Sakura remained rooted outside her room.

_Why do you keep doing things like this? Helping me, being kind to me…It makes it harder for me to leave everything behind and join my true family… When I think that I might harm you if I leave, it only breaks my heart. _

_I wish you'd just be cruel, like your grandfather. Then I won't like you anymore…maybe, just maybe, I will even hate you._

Her tears finally fell.

---

Meilin did not know exactly what she feels. At some point, perhaps, some part of her mourned her husband. And yet, she had to admit that she was mostly relieved with Mamoru's death. While he was rarely physically abusive, he made it clear that she was but a prize he had won against his cousin, Xiao Lang.

She smiled bitterly at the thought of Syaoran. What a twist of fate, she thought. Now that she is free to love him, he can no longer be hers. No matter the circumstances, he was married. Nothing would ever change that.

"Meilin-san, I did not know I'll find you here," her heart jumped at the sound of that voice. It was Xiao Lang, no less.

"Xiao Lang. You surprised me." She said softly. She was thinking of him, and suddenly, he was here?

"I offer you my condolences on your loss."

"I…we both know my relationship with Mamoru was in tatters."

He said nothing.

"It was foolish of him, you know. He was but one, and with the rebels advancing everywhere…it was practically _hara-kiri._" She continued. "But I…how come I do not feel anything? If truth be told, I am relieved with his unfortunate passing…am I such an evil person? Did he die because I wished it?" Tears streamed down her cheeks at that thought.

"Don't say that," Syaoran said abruptly, crossing the distance between them and hugging her tightly. "Don't say it, please. For someone who caused you nothing but pain, it is natural to not mourn him. He died because he was foolish, not because you wished it."

"I know that…but somehow, I could not…I would not…"

"Hush, now. Do not lose sleep thinking about it."

"I…you always understood me, Xiao Lang. And for that, I shall be eternally grateful."

**Syaoran sighed deeply as he comforted Meilin.** He always liked how she made him feel important, needed. Yet, somehow, he wished someone else would need him like she does…

_Why am I even thinking of her? She is one woman who will never need me…_ For, after all, his wife was a woman in control. She lost it once, but, she has never been as vulnerable as Meilin.

"Xiao Lang…you do know that I have always cared for you?" He froze.

For so long, he waited for those words. And then she was forced to marry Mamoru and he knew it might never come… And now, now he was hearing the words he wanted to hear.

Why wasn't he excited about it? Maybe, in his heart of hearts, he already knew how she truly felt. Yet they were both unable to confess, until now.

"I…know, Meilin-san. I have always known."

"I know you are married to Sakura-san, but… you care for me, too, do you not? Before I married…Mamoru, you know how we…"

"What…are you saying, Meilin?"

"Let's leave this place. I need you, Xiao Lang. I have always needed you…and I cannot bear to stay here anymore. I wish to return to Guan Dong. Come with me?"

He did not know what to say. Truly, he wanted to return to Guan Dong. His mother lived there alone, in their little community. He wanted to return and never come back to Heian-kyo. And yet, he could not forsake his duty, could he?

"Meilin…you forget, grandfather has crowned me emperor. I could not leave, even if I wish it."

"To hell with duty! Taira Kiyomori-sama is only using you to maintain his position of power, Xiao Lang. He…he…"

"Hush. You are not thinking things thoroughly. At least, give me time to consider it. The throne is already under threat, and if I leave…"

"Think of it, please, Xiao Lang? We can live together, live a simpler life than this…"

Leave all this tension, this pressure of being in command? It was all tempting to refuse. In the end, Syaoran nodded, promising that he will come to a decision by the morrow.

It was everything he dreamed of…and yet, something did not feel right…

He needed to talk to his wife…the unfortunate woman he married out of duty.

---

Sakura admitted it now to herself. She had fallen for her husband—and thus, she was loath to leave his side. And yet, the three day-window promised by the silver-haired man was drawing to a close on the morrow, and she did not, could not make a decision just yet.

Not for the first time in her life, Sakura felt helpless. And yet, she knew that if she stayed on, she will only subject herself to further pain. Now that Mamoru is dead, he is sure to grab on the chance to be with the woman who held his heart—Li Meilin.

_I wish you could see me now, Tomoyo-neechan, Okaasan. I have become weak, as you are both. Isn't love the most foolish thing in the world? I wish I did not realize it. It makes everything harder for me…_

Would she let him go to Meilin without a fight? Will she dare risk her pride for even a fraction of his heart?

She scoffed at how pathetic she sounded.

"Can we talk?" She turned to see her husband striding purposefully toward her.

"W-what do you want?" She asked, her voice shaking a little.

"I need to talk to you…tell something to you."

"Pray, do not restrain yourself. Say your piece."

He sighed. "I…you know, I guess, how I feel for Meilin."

"Yes," she said, ignoring the stabbing pain at her heart. "It would take a blind fool not to notice it."

"And I…am thinking of…"

"Will you marry her?" She cut her off. "Now that Li Mamoru-san is dead, will you be marrying her? For I would not tolerate her in any other way. I told you how I feel about mistresses," she was rambling, she knew, but the words would not stop. It was her pride talking, even though she wanted to beg him not to marry anyone. She needed to collect her nerves, for she knew she was very close to falling apart.

"Yes, I am thinking of marrying her. But…not only that. I am thinking of leaving."

"L-leaving?"

"Yes. I wish to return to Guan Dong. I know you are my wife…but please, do not feel obliged to come with me. But I am worried of what will happen to you if I leave. Grandfather…he would not understand."

"I see. I am certain I would not be welcome there. Meilin-san would not appreciate it if I tagged along." She had to stop at that, for she felt the tears clog her throat.

"Don't say that…please. I know I am being selfish, being unfair. But understand that I have waited for this moment since forever."

_Since forever._ The words brought fresh pain to her scalding heart.

"Tell me…am I nothing but duty to you?"

"What are you talking about?"

"Nothing," she said softly. "I already know the answer." She looked away. "Feel free to do as you wish. I, however, have no intention of coming with you. This is farewell, I presume, my lord."

"So, we're back to 'my lord' again, huh? Always…you are cold to me. But how come I feel there is more to you than that cold exterior?" He asked mockingly, gritting his teeth. He hated it when she became like this.

"Please do not waste time thinking about it. I wish you a good life with Meilin-san."

She turned away from him, but he did not leave.

_Why don't you go away? Always, I was nothing but unwanted baggage. Otousan ignored me. Okaasan resented me. You…my father forced me on you. I'd rather be with people who care for me, than people who keep on hurting me._

"Are you crying?" He asked sharply. Only then did she realize that her tears had fallen yet again.

"No," she denied, turning her face so that he would not see. "I just feel a bit out of sorts. Please, leave me now."

He walked towards her and turned her face towards him.

"You are crying," he said in wonder.

"I…I…it's nothing," she said quickly. "My eyes just…"

"Stop it," he whispered. "Stop pretending to be strong in front of me!"

She did not say anything.

"Do you want me to leave? Tell me."

"I-I already told you—"

"Do. you. want. me. to. leave?"

She wanted to tell him not to go so badly. But she didn't want him to stay because she said so, because she was obliging him to stay. She wanted him to stay because he truly wished to stay with her.

"Yes," she said softly, not meeting his eyes.

"Liar," he said, his unwavering gaze settling on her face.

She could not admit it to him. Not now, when he had everything he wanted within his reach.

Her green eyes shuttered, colder than ever.

"All right. You want the truth? Then I shall give it to you. No, I do not want you to leave. Because that would mean that all my plans have gone to waste. I would have to return to our house, without getting anything from this arrangement but a tarnished reputation. But please, do not feel obligated to humor me. After all, I already gave you leave. You are free to do as you wish."

"How come I do not believe you?" He asked, shaking his head. "Try another reason."

"If you do not wish to believe me, then don't."

"Why can't you be honest for even a moment, woman? You insist in acting all tough and strong, but truly…"

"So you think you have figured me out?" She challenged. "I told you…"

"No, I don't wish to hear your lies any longer. You will tell me the truth."

"I have nothing else to tell." _Except that I lied to you, me and my father…from the very beginning. We are not really married, so you don't really have an obligation to care for me. You married Kinomoto Sakura, but I am, and has always been, Amamiya Sakura. _

"I think I have already decided," he said cryptically. "Good day, my lady." He bowed to her before turning away to leave.

_I could not leave her. She would never admit it…but she needs me, somehow. I would have to hold on to that._

_I have to leave,_ Sakura thought once he was gone. _I could not bear to stay if he were not here. Too much pain…why won't it go away? _

---

The morrow

"I could not come with you, Meilin," Syaoran said gently as he faced Meilin and her two sleeping children. She was holding on to a large baggage as well. Bewilderment was all over her face; it was clear she did not expect him to turn her down. "I could only take you to the port, but that is all the help I can give you."

"But…why, Xiao Lang? After all these years…"

"I don't know," he replied honestly. "If you ask me, I have long awaited to confess how I felt for you. But somehow…"

"You do not love me anymore, do you?" A bitter smile played on her lips. "I had a feeling that I was forcing you to admit your feelings…is it your wife, then, who stole you from me?"

"I have no idea how I feel about her. She…she's like a puzzle to me. There was a time when we could talk so freely, and she was so carefree then, so young…but most of the time, she acted all cold and strong…she annoyed me every time she had her wall of defenses up…"

"No more, please," Meilin whispered, tears glistening in her eyes. "I understand. I was too late. Everything was too late…perhaps; perhaps it was never meant to be. I would accept your help, but only because I could not do so without it," she gestured helplessly at her children and their things. "I wish you a good life here, Xiao Lang."

"Don't you wish to come back here?"

"Maybe…someday. But not anytime soon."

"I am sorry, Meilin…"

"Don't be. It is not your fault."

"Shall we?" He offered his hand.

---

_He's probably gone by now,_ Sakura thought, trying hard not to cry.

It was the break of dawn. Unable to sleep, she paced by her room, arranging her things to prepare once her brother shows up. She had no reason to stay any longer. The decision was easier to make, but it didn't lessen the pain she still felt.

"Sakura," she was not surprised to hear Touya's voice from the windowsill. "You are awake? And here I was, thinking of how to wake you up…you always slept like the dead," he added jokingly.

A ghost of smile played on her lips. "Oniichan. I have been awake all night, waiting for you."

"You have decided? Not that it's any choice, if you ask me. Yue-sama can be pretty autocratic at times. He wants us all at his side, I guess."

"I…have no compelling reason to stay."

"What do you mean?"

"He has left. With Li Meilin. You know that woman? Her husband, Li Mamoru, was among those who died with the siege."

"I'm sorry, squirt."

"Do not be. I know you didn't know about the attack. Besides, that man is not even worth mourning."

"Was he that unpleasant, burly fellow? The one who rushed outside?" He asked sharply.

"Yes, he was that foolish man. Why do you ask?"

"Nothing. Then…she is…" _…that woman…_ "Wait. You said he left with her?"

"Yes. Now I also need to leave. His grandfather would probably kill me once he finds out he is gone."

"You're ready to leave," he said, frowning. "Then we shall not waste time. We need to go. Can you jump?"

"Not in these clothes," she said wryly.

He sighed. "Don't think I'll carry you all the way out." Without further ado, he lifted her up and carried her things at his back. "Hold on tight, then."

_This is my decision,_ she thought as her brother jumped down. _But how come I feel like I'm leaving something important behind?_

---

"This is goodbye, then, Meilin."

"Yes. I thank you for your kind assistance, Xiao Lang. I can manage from here Go now." She boarded the ship and waved him away. "Go," she mouthed when he wouldn't move. He smiled sadly and started to walk away, not seeing the tears in Meilin's eyes.

He arrived at the palace just after the crack of dawn. The palace guards on duty did not even notice his return.

He was about to enter his own room to rest, but somehow, his feet are pulling him to his wife's quarters.

However, her bedroom was empty. The bed sheets were undisturbed, indicating that she did not sleep at all.

Not only that, he noted that most of her personal belongings were missing.

_No…it couldn't be…_

He scoured the room for any note of explanation. There was none.

_But then, she wouldn't leave a note if she believed I left, would she?_

He had no way of knowing when she left. But he knew that there is only one person she'll run to: her cousin who happened to be a spy for the Minamotos.

_Why? Why did you leave?_ He asked repeatedly. Only when he felt his cheeks growing wet did he realize that he was crying. His numb heart was suddenly in pain. He couldn't breathe.

The pain was killing him. He knew it would only go away when he found her again.

And he had to find her. He had to.

Or else…everything will be for naught…

A/N: If you are confused, Syaoran thinks that Touya is Sakura's cousin, and not her brother. Okay?


	15. Chapter 13: Consequences

Sweet Deception

Witch-Mistress-Animaru

A/N: Okay. Just before I get on with video editing, I decided to start writing this chapter.

I'm resuming writing while loading up my MP3 player with songs. That takes a while, so you should be glad.

I just realized. A lot of things are happening in this chapter, all at the same time. So sue me, I happen to like things complicated.

P.S. I am deviating from my chapter plans. I mentioned in an earlier chapter that I was somewhat behind in plotting what goes on in each chapter. But now, I find that if I followed my chapter plotting, some parts would be a drag. So…I am improvising a bit, following writer's instincts on what chapters should contain.

Yeah! I made it before New Year! Consider this my gift to you guys, okay? See you next year, I hope! :)

13: Consequences

_"Don't say silly things like 'no matter how many other mistresses there may be!' It's not like that, right? Besides, after all, you want the person you love to look only at you, right?" _

- Hino Kahoko, La Corda D'Oro

_It's just too little, too late,_

_A little too wrong_

_And I can't wait…_

-Jojo, Too Little, Too Late

_She's too good to be forgotten_

_Too good to be true_

_Before my world gets torn apart_

_I promise her the moon._

- Mr. Big, Promise Her the Moon

"Where has she gone to? This is a scandal, an outrage! The empress running away…" The royal advisers were all in agog. Syaoran was unable to hide the fact that his wife was missing. Soon, his grandfather called his advisers to convene.

"Have you contacted Kinomoto Fujitaka? Bring him here, at once!" Taira Kiyomori shouted.

"Kiyomori-sama, he has already been summoned. We can only hope that his daughter has come home to their house and not anywhere else."

"Could it be…could your wife have eloped? Was she close to any man, do you know?"

"I do not think she eloped, grandfather," he answered blankly. His mind had gone numb for the past few hours. He did not know what to think, much less do.

A murmur has broken out amongst the advisers, but he was too distraught to care.

"I knew it. Kinomoto has a lot to answer for now that his _obedient_ little daughter has disappeared. Heavens!"

"First the unexpected attack, now this! What is happening, Taira-sama?"

"Silence! We will know once Kinomoto arrives."

Syaoran no longer cared what happened to the throne. He never wanted it in the first place. However, he chose to stay, if only to see his father-in-law, the enigmatic man who fathered his wife. He needed answers—badly. For only in solving the mystery of his wife's identity and background can he solve the mystery of her personality. Once he fully understood her, he can trace where she has gone, and why.

Although he knew she would never return to their house in Heian, he hoped that by a slim chance, she had come home. For that would remove her other alternative—siding with the Minamoto clan.

"He's here!"

"Kinomoto has arrived, Taira-sama," the servant announced, a tall man striding past him purposefully.

There was no denying that this man was Sakura's father. Her hair was the same shocking auburn shade of this man's. And yet that was where the physical resemblance ended. His face was oddly blank, his expression unperturbed. Syaoran was oddly reminded of Sakura's shuttered expression. He knew at once that this face was just a mask, hiding the true man beneath.

"Kiyomori-san," the lack of the higher honorific surprised him. But then, this was the man who saved his grandfather's life long ago. "To what do I owe the urgent missive I received?"

"'Tis your daughter, Fujitaka. My son discovered her hasty departure early this morning, just after the break of dawn."

Fujitaka's eyes narrowed by a fraction. "She left?"

"So she did not come home, then?"

"Home? No. I have not seen her since the crowning ceremony."

Pandemonium reigned among the advisers.

"Where could the empress be?"

"Is this a sign of things to come? Dear kami-sama…"

"Taira-sama, what are we going to do?"

"Hush. Do you have an idea where she could have gone to?" Kiyomori asked Fujitaka.

Syaoran could see that the man was more shocked than he let on. His hands were shaking…and he wondered if it was in anger.

"No. We are her only family," he said tersely. "Nonetheless, I shall alert my household, should she appear home."

"Can I come with you, Fujitaka-san?" Syaoran said suddenly, stepping forward just as the man was about to leave.

"Ah. The emperor, are you not? Of course, you are welcome to come. But what will your coming to my humble abode serve? It is better if you let us handle this. I promise to return with my daughter as soon as possible."

Syaoran hated the easy, indulgent condescension in Fujitaka's voice. He gritted his teeth.

"I wish to come," he repeated, more forcefully this time.

"Very well," Fujitaka replied, defeated. "I shall sort this out as soon as possible."

In the end, he had no choice but to allow Syaoran to tag along. After calming the royal panel of advisers, they left the Heian-kyo palace.

Silence reigned as they traveled to the merchant's home.

For what was there to say when your wife disappeared and her own father didn't know where to find her?

---

Sweeping the lawn of the vast Kinomoto household was the only thing that soothed Nadeshiko's restless nerves. Perhaps, having grown accustomed to doing it for years, it had become a ritual, a habit she could not break. Whenever dark thoughts pervaded her mind, she would take the broom and start sweeping.

Like now.

A short while earlier, she received an urgent missive for Fujitaka from the Imperial Palace. She handed it to him, loath as she was to see his face so early in the morning. She expected him to chuck it straight to the floor upon reading it—many a time she had witnessed him vent out his frustrations on Taira Kiyomori, it was not something new. However, a worried frown crossed his face as he read the letter before he dashed off suddenly.

It must only mean that something must have happened in the palace. And that something had everything to do with Sakura.

Oh, she did not think that Fujitaka was worried about his daughter. She was sure he was worried that the girl, or whatever she has done, has destroyed his chances of taking his "rightful place" in the palace.

However, she was unable to put the incident past her. She paced about, unable to concentrate.

In the end, she had to sweep the lawn to clear her thoughts.

"Nadeshiko! Prepare us some tea, will you?" She turned to see Fujitaka striding towards her and behind him was…

The broom fell to the lawn with a clatter as she gazed at the man who married her daughter.

"Nadeshiko-san!" Li Syaoran strode forward, overtaking the master of the house.

"You know her?" Fujitaka asked, perplexed.

"Yes, she was here when I visited." Syaoran did not even spare the man another glance. His eyes were transfixed on the strange woman he met several weeks ago.

"It is you, Xiao Lang…sama," she added the honorific almost as an afterthought when she realized that Fujitaka was listening.

"I need to talk to you, please, Nadeshiko-san."

"I…that is, Fujitaka-san…" She glanced meaningfully at Fujitaka, who nodded curtly, albeit reluctantly.

"If you must," he said. "I must leave now, Syaoran-san," again, the lack of honorific confused Syaoran, but he refused to dwell on it. "I have other matters that need urgent attendance."

He nodded and watched as Kinomoto Fujitaka retreated to the house.

"It is you, indeed. What has happened?"

"Sakura's vanished."

Nadeshiko paled. "What did you say?"

"She left. She left, and I have no idea where to find her."

Nadeshiko said nothing. To say she was shocked was an understatement. And yet, somehow, she was glad. Sakura's ambitions did not consume her, after all.

However, that did not stop her from worrying. As she gazed at the young man before her, she could suddenly feel the panic he was trying to hide.

_Could it be…?_

"How can I be of help?" She asked softly, hiding her own pain. It wouldn't do for both of them to lose their heads in worry.

"I was thinking…no, I had hoped that she'd somehow return here. Clearly, I was wrong."

"If you thought that, then you do not know my dau…n-niece very well," _damn, I nearly slipped,_ she thought, silently cursing herself.

"No…I think I already knew I will not find her here. But I hoped…because it would mean she did not go with your son."

"W-what do you mean?"

"I believe she has run off to the Minamotos."

"No! What could she be thinking?"

"I…we had a misunderstanding the night before. It was my fault. I gave her the impression that…that…" he could not say it. He didn't want this woman to know that he ever thought of leaving his wife to start a new life with someone else. He'd never been more ashamed of himself.

"I…see. You shouldn't say it if it is a personal matter," she said with a sad smile. "What matters is that you care for her, isn't it?"

His face reddened, but he nodded just the same.

"But…I am afraid you sought the wrong person for help."

"What do you mean?"

"I would be the last person Sakura would seek out," she said with a sad smile. "As for my son, you know that we are estranged. They would never seek solace here."

"I know where to find her. I'm certain she is with the Minamoto clan now."

"Then…what…?"

"I wish to know more about her. I wish to understand her better. Maybe that way, I can…Maybe if I know more about her childhood, maybe we will…"

"I…I understand your request, but I do not understand why you sought me." _Did he suspect anything?_

"I don't know. It just feels right."

"I fear I am not the one to tell you. If there is someone you should ask, it should be her." _But I want to tell you about Fujitaka. I want to warn you about him. I want to tell you about his delusional plans to take over the Imperial Palace._ Yet, she knew she could not tell him. Fujitaka would not take kindly to being duped.

"All I can tell you is that…her mother neglected her. Badly. Her father…" _I can't tell you that she was just a spare to him._ "Let's just say that…he never treated her as a daughter."

Syaoran stared at her, contemplating her cryptic words.

"I see." He was, little by little, uncovering secrets of the Kinomoto household. And he was also beginning to understand his wife more and more. Her coldness, her relentless wall of defenses, seems to be the only way she protected herself from the pain of her parents' neglect and indifference.

"Will you try to find her? No, don't answer that. Of course you will."

"Hai, ma'am. I will stop at nothing to find her."

"Then I wish you luck." She bowed at him, and he took that as a signal to leave.

"Wait…" He turned. "Should you need any assistance, please feel free to come to me. And…my son… when you see my son, please give him my apologies, the repentance of a mother who wronged her child…" _I wish I could give the same to Sakura._ "And tell him to please, please come home." Tears glistened in her eyes.

How could he say no to that? Although that man would probably kill him once he learns what caused Sakura to leave in the first place. He nodded before he finally turned and left.

"What did he tell you?" Fujitaka emerged from the house once Syaoran was gone, his sharp gaze resting on her.

"Nothing," she lied. "He only asked me to keep an eye out for Sakura, should she return here."

"You did not let anything slip, by any chance, did you?"

"Of course not," she said with what she hoped was disdain. "That foolish girl was a nuisance to me."

"And you better not lay your claim on her. In the eyes of the world, she is my sheltered, legitimate daughter, and it shall remain so. She is essential to my plan, and you know it." He started to walk away from her. "I did not see Sonomi. It seems she has shut herself inside again. I will not be back until dark."

Fujitaka has long since left, and yet, Nadeshiko remained rooted outside the house. The broom remained frozen in her hand. Despite her firm resolve to never shed a tear on Fujitaka again, her tears fell like rain once more.

_Why, why have you become so cruel?_

---

"Oi, squirt. Are you even listening?" Touya asked Sakura sharply, but he was only rewarded with a blank stare.

"What the hell's wrong with you? You haven't said a word since we arrived."

"Huh? Oh, you were saying, oniichan?" She straightened up and gazed at her brother, a forced smile on her face.

"Forget it." He said with a shake of his head. "Yue-sama will call for us at any moment. It is best if you prepare yourself."

"Oniichan. That man. He mentioned something…about my brother and sister being here. Is Tomoyo-neechan…?"

"No, I haven't seen her here," he said absently. "But then, I wasn't here for weeks. I stayed at the palace, remember?"

"I see," she said softly.

"Don't think too much about it. And don't look so sad; you're safe now, and that is what matters."

She bit her lip to quell the protest she wanted to voice out, but in the end she nodded.

---

"They have arrived, Yue-sama." Yue froze upon hearing the news.

So she was here. Touya's sister. At last.

She was not part of his plans. And yet, he could not get her face out of his mind. And so, out of impulse, he forced her to join his side.

He could not bear the thought of destroying such an innocent face for the sake of war.

However, although he already figured out who she was, he needed explanations. The three of them—Touya, his sister — the empress — and his cousin, now married to Eriol, will have to fill him in on information.

But that can wait. First, he must see her.

She had been like a dream when he arrived to lay siege at the palace. Now, he had to assure himself that he had her, at last.

There was that small problem of Touya. He was certain the man would never approve of what he had in mind, loyalist or not. He loved his sister too much.

But he needs to understand Yue's reasons.

As for now, he has to see her.

"Send them in, please. And call my sister-in-law."

"Sister-in-law…do you mean Daidouji Kinoa-san?"

"You forget that she is my brother's wife now."

"Y-yes, of course, Yue-sama. I will get to it now." The messenger appeared to be confused, but he did not question the strange orders.

"Do that."

---

"Touya, Yue-sama is calling for you."

Sakura jolted from her seat at the messenger's voice.

"Kaito," her brother acknowledged the man. "Where is he?"

"At the conference hall."

"I see. We shall see him now."

They walked in silence; their footfalls echoed within the wooden walls of the seemingly endless corridor. Finally, they halted outside a large, ornate door. Touya sighed before he knocked.

"Enter," the same cold voice that whispered the disturbing news to her called from inside.

Touya pushed the door open and pulled her with him.

The room was obscenely luxurious; wreaths of silk hung across the walls. A long table stood before them. At the far end of the table stood the silver-haired man who led the palace siege three days ago.

There was a beat of silence as she met the man's gaze.

Then, Touya bowed down to him.

"Oniichan!" She said, horrified.

"Stand, Touya. You are making her uncomfortable." He turned his silver eyes on her. "Welcome. I see you have decided, and decided well, too."

"I did not know I had a choice," she said coolly.

Laughter emanated from him at her rebuff. "Fire," he said softly. "You are very much like fire." His cryptic words meant nothing to her. She thought of the lives he had taken at the sudden siege and she thought she didn't like this man very much.

"Who are you?" She asked proudly, disguising her sudden fear of him.

"Ah. Forgive my manners, my lady. Minamoto Yue, leader of the Minamoto clan, at your service."

So this was her brother's master.

"What do you want with me? Why summon me here?"

His eyes flashed mysteriously.

"I see that you disdain me, somehow. But no matter, that is easily changed. As to my reasons, alas, I could not tell you now. In time, you shall know."

"Why have you summoned us, then? If not to tell us your plans?" It was Touya who spoke this time, his eyes narrowed. He did not care for the sparkle of amusement in Yue's eyes. Nor did he care for how he looked at Sakura.

"I wish for you both to see someone."

As if on cue, there was a knock on the door.

"Come in," Yue ordered. The door opened and a young woman stepped in.

"You called, Yue-sama?" She asked. Upon seeing the pair standing before her, however, the woman's amethyst eyes widened.

"You," Touya gasped.

"Tomoyo-neechan?" Sakura said softly. "Is it really you?"

"Touya-san," she acknowledged her cousin, but her eyes were transfixed on Sakura. "Sakura…? Sakura!"

Touya stood awkwardly as the two women hugged each other. Sakura seemed to have forgotten her earlier gloom as she laughed and kissed her sister.

Yue, who never cared for emotional situations, quietly slipped out of the room. Explanations can wait.

---

Guan Dong, China

"Why are you here?" Li Yelan did not disguise the contempt in her voice. She regarded the woman before her with cold eyes. She had not quite forgiven her for what she has done to her son.

"Mamoru is dead. I did not wish to stay any longer," Li Meilin's eyes pleaded with Syaoran's mother, who also happens to be among the leaders of this village.

"What makes you think you are welcome here?" She asked coldly.

"I…I know I had been a fickle creature…then…but I was not entirely at fault! Mamoru seduced me…" She reddened at her statement.

"It would never have happened if you truly loved Xiao Lang."

"I know I was wrong! I have long regretted it, and Xiao Lang has already forgiven me…"

"I am not my son. I remember his suffering all too clearly."

"Please," teardrops began to fall from her eyes. "Was my miserable marriage not enough punishment? Wasn't his rejection enough?"

"Rejection?" Yelan froze in her tracks. "Do you mean to tell me…?"

"Yes. I was foolish to think he'd agree to come with me here."

"You asked him to come with you? Are you really that selfish? My son is already married!"

"I know…at least, I know now how wrong I was to think that he still loved me…"

"I see." And indeed, Yelan saw. At some point, she is disappointed that her son refused to leave his post. But she was glad that he did not come here, if only for the fact that it meant that things are going well between him and Sakura.

A ghost of a smile played on her lips, and she surveyed Meilin with a fresh surge of pity.

"Come," she said curtly. "I could not very well turn you away, can I?"

"Thank you…thank you, Yelan-san."

"I hope," she said softly. "For your sake…you would give up your pursuit of my son."

"I already have," Meilin whispered, and her tears fell down again.

TBC


	16. Chapter 14: On Enemy Territory

**Sweet Deception**

Witch-Mistress-Animaru

A/N: Been having problems with the FFnet site, so I guess I cannot upload this just yet. While I'm sick, I've been recovering files from a damaged CD of the CCS second movie.

This is for those who have been hanging on for my stories. Someday, and soon, I will be writing something else entirely. For now, I'll keep my promise and finish my stories here. I have thus far outlined four stories, namely this one, Memories, When Love and Hate Collide, and Catch Me If You Can. Will be making outlines for: My Happy Ending, Untold Love Story, Gangster's Paradise, Stolen Moments, Chasing after Love, Finding Love, Cold Fire, and Sore Ga, Ai Deshou, in that order. Not sure if my one-shot collections will ever grow in number. I told you, I remain here in FF only for unfinished business. I have no intention of writing another fic at the moment.

For anyone who's interested in keeping track, this particular story will run for a total of 23 chapters, excluding the prologue and an epilogue. Go figure how long that will take me. I plan to finish everything by this year, though (including all my other fics). Closure, if you will, for everyone. So stay tuned. Updates most likely will come on weekends.

I've been checking out some details on the Genpei War, to make the story — at least its background — a bit more accurate. But of course this couldn't have happened; the real grandson of Taira no Kiyomori, Emperor Antoku (Tokihito), was but a child when the war broke in 1180 — he also died during the war.

14: On enemy territory

_Even the best fall down sometime_

_Even the wrong words seem to rhyme_

_Out of the doubt that fills my mind_

_I somehow find you and I collide._

- Howie Day, Collide

_I know I can't be with you. I do what I have to do._

- Sarah McLachlan, Do What You Have To Do

They have failed to find her.

Syaoran half-listened to his grandfather's raging, his thoughts running at lightning pace. Of course, he knew where he should look — the only question left is how.

"Where could she have gone? I could not believe this!" Kiyomori shouted, again and again.

Syaoran's mind whirled at how he was going to retrieve his wife from enemy territory. But he knew it was the only logical step he could take — anything else would have to wait.

"I will find her, grandfather," he said softly, unsure how he found his voice, his eyes narrowing with determination. He exuded a sense of calm he did not feel, but he did not wish to involve anyone else from the empire. Empress or not, Sakura was his wife. Her first duty was with him, not with this faux kingdom on the verge of ruin.

She belonged with him, not with Heian-kyo. And if she chose to go to the territory of the Minamotos, then, so shall he.

"Do you wish to prepare the Royal Guard to accompany you on your mission, your majesty?" One of the Heian council's members asked cautiously.

Syaoran only laughed. "No, I shall attend to this matter personally. There is no need to accompany me. I shall do well on my own…better, I must say, than having an army to announce my presence wherever I go," he said.

"You cannot undertake this task firsthand," his grandfather objected. "There are a great many matters that require the emperor's attention than fetching his errant wife, especially now that the Minamotos have once again shown their desire to remove us from power."

"Leading this empire…has never been my wish," Syaoran replied softly. "Just as it has never been my wish to marry the empress. Be that as it may, however, I find that I prefer seeking out my wife to these…matters that you speak of." He refused to mention the tender feelings his wife evoked in him, emotions he never thought himself capable of after he has given up on Li Meilin. He doubted his grandfather would have listened, had he exuded on love and all things sweet and gentle.

Besides, he was yet uncertain of the depth of his feelings for his wife, only that it has surpassed what he had always felt for Meilin.

Still, it meant too much — _she_ meant too much to him.

He could not let her go.

"Grandfather, I entrust to you matters of governance while I am away. No one is to learn of my departure, I hope," he added in caution, should there be enemy spies in place.

""Tis folly, is what it is! I cannot believe you are throwing everything away for that…that strumpet!" With those words, Syaoran strode forward, blind with rage as he accosted his grandfather.

"Grandfather, you forget your place," he said through gritted teeth. "That woman happens to be my wife, and the empress of this palace. I heed you to temper your words."

"You dare defy me, and now this?" Kiyomori breathed. "Begone, then! I do believe I have made a grievous mistake when I chose you to be emperor."

Syaoran refused to rise to the bait as he strode out of the hall. He realized, as he walked away from Heian-kyo, that his grandfather might have not loved him, after all. Or at least, that he loved power more than anything else, even his own grandson.

**Minamoto territory**

_The man is infuriating beyond words,_ Sakura thought as she gazed distastefully at the retreating figure of Yue Minamoto, come to badger her once more.

For the first few days since their arrival, Sakura allowed herself to mourn — mourn the waste of her love, feelings she knew will never be returned. Her brother Touya stood guard, carefully watching her and supporting her as she came to terms with the pain in her heart.

Most of all she mourned herself, for allowing her dreams to carry her to realms too far to reach. For dreaming when she should have accepted the realities of life for an illegitimate daughter.

However, her solace was short-lived, as Yue Minamoto has insisted on invading her privacy. First he insists that she dine with him every meal, plaguing her endlessly with questions as regards her person.

She could not refuse for he was, indeed, lord and master of the land. And their lives — hers, oniichan's, and Tomoyo-neechan's — depended on his goodwill.

It is not that the man is unpleasant. Far from it, indeed. His good looks and dark, somber demeanor could have elicited maidenly sighs and daydreams, but it had no effect on her. Her dearest wish was that he left her alone.

Not that she had time to dwell on her loneliness. More than ever, she was glad that her irritation of Yue had restored her thinking and good sense. She knew that time was running short, and if the rumors in the household were any indication, the Minamotos and the Tairas would soon reach an impasse.

Over the last few days, she has come to a decision. They would stay out of the war, which was in essence a clan war. Both clans have nothing she is interested in…especially now that Syaoran had left. No, she would ensure that her entire family…at least the three of them, would survive the looming unrest, leave all these behind and start anew.

But first, she has matters to settle in the present — other than avoiding Minamoto Yue, of course. One of which included her Tomoyo-neechan, whom, she learned, had married the man she loved.

She was not so fortunate, however, that hers was a happy marriage. Indeed, in the near two decades she has known her sister, she has never seen her so…so lifeless, so numbed.

She walked down the hall, hoping to catch a glimpse of her sister, and saw her scrubbing the floors on the kitchen.

"Tomoyo, why ever are you…?" At the sound of her voice, Tomoyo stood up and shushed her, looking around to see if other servants were present. When there was none, she took Sakura's hand and pulled her towards a secluded corridor.

"Hush," she whispered. "Here I am only Daidouji Kinoa, servant girl to the Minamotos."

"But you are married to Eriol-sama," Sakura replied, baffled.

"Ah…you've heard, then," Tomoyo's eyes glazed with tears, making their color even more prominent. "It does not matter. I earn my keep this way. I do not wish…oh, Sakura-chan," she cried, "I'm afraid I have made a grievous mistake. Mayhap, this is the price I paid for running away, and disobeying Father's wishes…"

"No, Tomoyo-neechan, never say that," she protested. "It was never a mistake…Father's plans are plain evil. You were right to refuse to partake in them."

"Perhaps…but, still…this kind of pain…"

"It is not your fault, oneechan," Sakura said firmly. "None of this is our fault…except, perhaps, how we feel…" Her voice trailed off, fighting back the emotion welling on her throat. "It hardly matters. I sought you to consult with you."

"What…what do you mean?"

"Have you not heard? The warring clans are bound to clash soon. We cannot remain here when that happens."

"But…how…?"

"I'm sure I do not know, but I have several plans…"

* * *

"She's a fiery lady, I must say," Yue Minamoto smiled humorlessly as he drank the freshly poured wine from his goblet. "To think that she could brush me off that easily, she is foolish, indeed."

Eriol wisely refused to comment. He has not before seen Yue in this mood, and was unsure as to how to react.

"I believe she would make such wonderful ornament in the palace, do you not think? And a Fujiwara, to boot…" Yue's smile, if possible, grew even darker. "She will assure us of less resistance once we control Heian-kyo."

"However, it is clear she does not want you. What will you do then, Yue-san? Force her?"

"No. Force has never been my style. But perhaps…through other ways, she could be coerced to stay by my side." Then, Yue's demeanor changed altogether. "Now, to more urgent matters. A military impasse is entirely plausible, is it not?"

"Indeed," Eriol said with a bow. "Our forces have grown enough to rival the empire. I believe the best way to get through most of the imperial defenses is through the river Uji in Heian."

"Perhaps. But the time is not right, Eriol-san," Yue said softly. "It is not the time. Soon, but not yet, for we cannot make a mistake — not when we are so close," he added.

"We were once good allies, the Tairas and the Minamotos. Then Taira Kiyomori grew ambitious. He abolished the cloistered rule [1] of the emperor, wanting power all for his own. Such does not deserve power of any sort," Yue repeated the tale time and again, a gentle reminder — and a warning to those whose loyalties might be swayed.

Eriol knew better than to intrude in Yue's recollections. He bowed again, about to take his leave, when Yue addressed him again.

"Have you heeded my advice yet?"

"Of what?" Eriol asked blankly.

"Your wife. I told you, it is all part of the plan. You may not understand, not yet…but all will fall into place soon enough."

Confused, Eriol only nodded. "Of course, I shall find her soon. Once matters are settled in our plans," he paused. "What of the Fujiwaras?"

"Fujitaka has served his purpose. Depending on the fall of things, he could be killed. Of the others…you know, of course, my plans for his daughter — the daughter who married into the empire, of course."

"Of Touya…"

"Touya is a Minamoto, as he has always been," Yue said sharply. "Not only by blood, but by loyalty for giving him shelter when he has been shunned by everyone else. He has only hatred for the Tairas. Except, of course, his sister, who now resides with us."

Eriol nodded slowly, digesting the information. "Very well. I shall take my leave, Yue-san."

Yue nodded his assent, turning away as Eriol left the room.

_Soon… Very soon, Heian will be mine._

_

* * *

_

Syaoran's journey to the Minamoto lands had been unpleasant. The roads were dusty and filled with rocks, and the weather was as changeable and unpredictable as ever possible. One minute the sun shone, torrents of rain pouring on the next. It took him all of three weeks to arrive — dusty, coated in mud, and wanting of a bath.

Yet none of it mattered, except the urgent need to find his wife. Those three weeks had been precious, as news traveled quickly even in the countryside. The Minamotos were advancing, and should he be found… a coup just might kill him.

Despite the dangers, however, he could only think of Sakura, of the tears she shed when they last parted. _No matter what,_ he thought, _I will find her, keep her safe…away from the impending war._

He had decided he would bring her to Guan Dong as soon as possible. Their clan will protect them. Only there would she truly be safe, far from the clutches of scheming fathers and ambitious monarchs.

He could not deny the way his heart leapt when he saw that he approached the boundaries. He had discarded his royal garb long ago, and was now attired in a farmer's clothes, which he had bought before he left Heian-kyo. He drew the cloak around him tighter as he approached the border.

"Oi, you," one of the guards called. "Are you new here? I have not seen you before."

"I come to visit my father," he said in a country accent. "He tends the lands near the manor," he added.

"Ah, that old man, you mean?" The guard nodded. Syaoran breathed a sigh of relief. By some fate, it seems, there is indeed an eccentric farmer herein.

He had passed through the gates.

Now the only thing left is to find her. With that in mind, he strode forward, towards the Minamoto palace.

Touya, for once, doubted the soundness of his decision to bring Sakura to the foyer of the Minamotos. He had seen Yue's ceaseless badgering, and while he respected the man, he could not come to terms with such attitude.

He walked on the vast grounds of the manor, lost in his thoughts, when he saw a commotion outside the gates.

One of the tenants was trying to enter the manor!

He did not believe in hurting the farmers, but should it come to that…he kept his sword firmly in place as he approached the manor gates.

"What goes on in here?"

"This man insists he has some business in the manor, Touya-sama," one of the guards informed him. He appeared to be manhandling the tenant, who was holding off well enough on his own.

"Very well, say your piece, my man," he said, turning towards the man. He stopped short, however, when he saw who it was. "You!" He exclaimed when he saw Taira no Syaoran, his sister's husband and current emperor of Japan, standing in front of him, garbed in a farmer's attire.

Touya considered his options. He could denounce his identity, and win the war for the Minamotos. However, the thought of his sister gave him pause. While she has agreed to come with him, it was on the premise that her husband had left her for another woman. She did not realize, then, that Syaoran had stayed, after all. And he knew that Sakura would have his head if he handed over this man to the Minamotos.

"You know this man, Touya-sama?"

"Yes…I have seen him around some time."

"Then…is his business with you?"

When Touya nodded tersely, the guard let the gaki go. He gestured at Syaoran to follow him into his secluded quarters.

"Is it safe here?" Syaoran asked softly once they were inside.

"Yes," Touya bit off. "What are you doing here? I thought you had left the empire, and for good."

"I almost did. Am I right to assume that she is here?"

It was pointless to deny him. "Yes, yes, my si…cousin is here. I brought her when it became apparent that you have abandoned her." He turned to confront Syaoran, who had the grace to wince.

"I…have no excuse for that." Then he added, "Why did you not denounce me? I thought, for a moment, you would be giving away my identity."

"I…do not think she would forgive me if anything happened to you." Touya replied, gazing ahead of him.

Syaoran's heart skipped a beat at this man's admission, of the possibility that his feelings were returned. Still, he maintained his calm façade.

"Why are you here?" Touya repeated the question after a moment.

"I have come for her."

"And what? Take her back to Heian-kyo? Then you are more foolish than I thought."

"I have no intention of doing that." Syaoran's response gave him pause.

"Listen. I may be named crown emperor, but I have disavowed it the moment I left Heian to seek Sakura."

"You have?" Surprise laced Touya's voice. Perhaps he has misjudged this man, after all. While he could never like him…he is not like the rest of the empire.

"Our empire is crumbling. Only a fool will not see it. And it has never been my ambition to be part of the empire, to begin with."

"I see," Touya murmured. "And what do you plan to do once you escape from here?"

"I…there is a place, if she wishes to, we could go to my ancestral home in Guan Dong," he sensed the hesitation in Syaoran's voice. "If…and only if she wishes it."

"Let us make it clear, then. What are your intentions for taking Sakura away?"

Silence enveloped them. Then, "I…cannot say I love her, as yet. I am certain, however, that I do not wish for us to be parted. Does that satisfy you, then?" Syaoran's voice was filled with irony. "Here I am, the most powerful man in the land, laying bare my feelings for my wife."

"Very well." Touya decided, then and there. He would end Sakura's involvement in the clan war. "I will help you, but only just. I do believe I made a mistake of bringing her here. But I will hold you to your promise to keep her away…from all this."

Syaoran breathed a sigh of relief. "Then, do you…?"

"I have a plan. However, if Sakura refuses to join you…"

"I will do whatever it takes to keep her safe. Even if it is not with me."

"Then you must know of Yue's plans for her."

"Yu…e?"

"Minamoto Yue, the military leader of this clan. He is a master samurai who has been rumored to belong to the secret elevated circles of the ninja." In brief, Touya related the recent occurrences in the Minamoto household. A brief silence ensued, broken by Syaoran's raging voice.

"And you allowed all this?" He said through clenched teeth.

"Again, a mistake, as I have said," Touya said with a pause. "I would not allow it further, however. I trust you will do your part?"

"Oh, certainly," Syaoran replied. "I will ensure that that Minamoto Yue never comes near her again," he vowed.

* * *

When Sakura heard her brother's summons, she could only breathe a sigh of relief. Her nerves were rubbed raw, her patience stretched thin as the day wore on.

Her plans with her sister have gone nowhere. While they discussed the necessity to flee from the Minamoto territory as soon as possible, they had no idea where to begin. In the end, they had resolved to explore the household and learn more of its layout before proceeding with their plan.

Truth be told, Sakura worried about Tomoyo. She seemed less like herself, more troubled. And she was uncertain if her sister truly wanted to leave…

"Are you well?" Her brother's voice jolted her out of her reverie.

"Yes, I am all right," she replied, suddenly unsure of what her brother meant to tell her. "What did you wish to tell me? This is most irregular…"

"Nothing, in particular. Rather, I wish for you to meet someone." It was only then that she noticed a man standing in the shadows, far from the fire in the grate of her brother's lodgings.

"Oi," Touya called out. The man stepped forward, revealing the last man she expected to see.

Her husband, Li Syaoran.

Also known as Taira no Syaoran, the emperor of Japan — the man Yue Minamoto wants dead.

TBC

A/N: [1] Cloistered rule, or the Insei system, was a system of governance in Feudal Japan where a former emperor continues to exert power and influence even after he has abdicated. Personally, I think Taira Kiyomori was right in abolishing such a system, but it appears he did it for personal ambitions to claim that power for himself.


End file.
